Christmas Movies Galore and Losing a Best Friend

So I am at home. Sorry it has been a while between posts. I was getting situated to come home and finishing up classes.

It's been rough you know. I finished my 14 page Script analysis final and I have been working on my Comm 410 final which only have to be 5-6 pages long, but I'll be lucky if I reach that. I don't even think that I am doing this final right, but I just don't have time. I am wiped clean from that 14 pager on Spring Awakening (it was a lot of fun but Spring Awakening isn't exactly a cheery play. Lots of death and stuff). I need to do well on this but something in my gut tells me I'm doing it wrong. Rob checked out my first two pages and said it looked fine, but who the heck knows...he does do better on his papers then me though. I'm taking a break from it until I can get Lexus Nexus to work....more than likely on the other computer. So I can find stuff to add. Grrr I hate papers...this is why I am a comm major.

I had that talk with my parents last night. You know the one about what happens now that I am almost a senior and what I am supposed to do with my life and so on.... I cried, my dad always makes me feel horrible about it. I mean I did get an internship and I am doing a Co-op with that company next semester but for some reason it's not enough because I'm only making $8 an hr. Then I got yelled at because they know all I really want to do is theatre and they kept repeating...you don't make any money is theatre. blah blah blah. stressful. So stressful. I just want to do something I love. and to be honest, besides theatre I don't know what that is. Yeah doing stuff with comm is fun and all but its the people that make it fun. I don't really want to live out of a suitcase ding freelance. I don't want to be a teacher. I just want to make people smile. So maybe I will do an internship in Disney. Maybe I will give up my senior year of PSU football. Who knows. All I know is that it's time to step up.

I have been watching Christmas movies a lot since I've been home. Love Actually was last night when I had writers block trying to describe the purpose of the Masked Gentleman in Spring Awakening. I love Love Actually. Great movie. However, its hard because well I have to be alone on Christmas since you know guys are jerks blah blah blah. I wish it was different a lot of times. Sometimes I just wish I knew what i was doing wrong. He'll come around someday I suppose, that Prince Charming of mine.

Now onto the Losing a Best Friend Part. My ex turned 21 this past weekend. Actually Yesterday was his birthday...Happy Birthday ex, you'll never know. Funny thing is, I broke up with him because he was being a jerk and I still have feelings for him. Or maybe it's just the fact that I still feel/care for him. Whatever. ANyway my best friend, a guy, who is also his best friend, who just so happened to get a girlfriend while i was away over the summer (lost yet?), out of nowhere stopped talking to me. I was like ummm ok. Stopped calling me to get coffee, stopped everything. I even bought him a Christmas gift, which is goin right back to the store. I just don't get it. So the theme of the week is my lack of trust in guys because of the boys in Nittany Gardens...I mean come on. Thats just a jerky move right there. Prolly something with his girlfriend. Prolly because I was upset he wouldn't work for me on a night when i was getting three hrs a sleep because he had to visit his gf who he was going to see in 2 weeks. Ugh you can't even call them Men because they are really just immature boys.

So if you are wondering why the blog is called Romantic's Song...it's because I hope that maybe one male who reads this, any male in the world, will treat some lucky lady better than I myself have been treated. And Maybe it will catch like some disease. Maybe there are guys out there telling their friends that what they are doing is stupid, immature, and unfair to girls everywhere. Not to mention, disrespectful, hurtful, and trust threatening. It hurts. So maybe, dude, whoever you are. PLease make a difference. So I know that some girl out there is being made happier than me because he guy is not a jerk.

Until Faithful Men~
(I promise I won't be that long)

Me