Making Plans

In the hustle and bustle of going from my sister's prom to my graduation and coming home to get my life in order, I forgot about plans.

Now that I am finally settled down, with some cleaning left to do, I am ready to make plans for the future. However, I was reading today and this quote fluttered across the page:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

It was then that I realized that I need to not make plans. I need to prepare and trust that the Lord's plans for me are greater than anything that I can imagine. I have a general idea of where I am being led but I can tell you that I am very scared. I am excited that the Lord is pulling on certain strings but I am super scared.

I love trust. Trusting the Lord. It doesn't mean that you have to be brave every second. It simply means that you are able to be brave long enough to know that you are doing the right thing. Trust is an important value. If you can't Trust someone, what kind of value does that put on your relationship with them.

I learned a lot about trust when I was in Vail, Colorado with Campus Crusade for Christ. It was during one specific moment did I finally know why God had placed me halfway across the country from home and into the high mountains. I had issues with trust and men. I had been hurt by too many. Also, I was very hurt by a few men of God, or those who called themselves such. So I found myself unable to trust men, all men, with the exception of my dad and the Lord above. While on Project, I met Ben. Ben has been such an important person in my walk with Christ and my life. Ben was a member of my small group on project. We had shared a lot with our small groups and so Ben knew that my asthma and out-of-shapeness would be of an issue with me. Also, I have a very small fear of new things, though I was excited to try them, I was petrified at the same time.
One Saturday we participated in The Amazing Race: Vail style. This included swimming, biking, and hiking. We had to answer questions as well. It was very hard, but my team Ben and Jeremy's *like the Ice Cream Ben and Jerry's haha* pulled me through. Ben and my friend Terrin were a big part of our finishing. Ben hiked all the way up a ski slope with me in tow while our team ran ahead to answer the question.
The next day, our small group with caving *I can't spell spalunking?* This was an awesome adventure and Ben was there once again to help me! After making our way through the cave, reaching the perfect place to turn off our headlamps and singing some worship *which sounded beautiful with the acoustics*, we turned to go back. Since I was taking it slow, Ben and my leader Joanna stayed behind to help me out. There was this one part that would have been horrible is you slipped and fell in the gap between the rocks. Ben went over and promised to help me over. But I sort of had this trust issue with men and promises. Even after everything Ben had done for me in the days before, I could not trust him enough to risk my life/health. To make a really long story short, it took about 10 minutes, lots of tears, Jo yelling at me, lots of prayers, Ben's begging me to trust him, and God's Amazing Grace to get me past that one point. From that point on, it was smooth sailing and we weren't in any rush. Ben and Jo climbed some scary looking ropes that we found in the cave and then we finally made our way out. Ben, with the help of Joanna and our gracious God, helped me regain my trust in men.

Recently Ben and I started talking again (as in we lost touch and got back in touch). So if you are reading this Ben, I still talk about that day all the time. You are very important to me. I have also been led to make some travel plans this summer and I would love to go see Ben and just catch up. A vacation either alone or with one other person. I don't know where that vacation will be or when it will be, I just know that it needs to happen in order for me to figure out my life. I would love to visit my friends from Vail in a road trip across the country or go across the ocean to visit friends in Europe.

So the point of all this: Trust! I am trusting the Lord to lead me to where I am supposed to be. I am trusting that the Resumes I send out fall into the right hands and that job I have is the Job in which I will most grow both mentally and spiritually. I am simply trusting.