She Should Get It Through Her Head...

I saw the touring cast of Evita tonight here at good old school...

I must say the show was good. Modernized, but good. They need to get rid of the projector screen....it served no purposed and pissed me off. Besides that the casting was good. Che was amazing What is Evita without Che? Nothing. The Waltz between Eva and Che (my fave number) Lived up to and surpassed my expectations. It was good. Something else I didn't like...they cut songs and then changed who sang some of the songs...I was like YOU CAN'T DO THAT...but apparently they can.

Lighting and set design was good....the mural that served as a curtain was very effective. I was hooked from the moment I walked into the theatre. The Lighting...Amazing. Mad Props to the lighting designer...I bet they took a ton of pictures during photo call...do they even have photo call in professional theatre? They must.


That's really all I have to say on the topic of Evita. So why did I title my entry such?

Well....I've been down for about a week. A bout with depression as I like to call it. Post-show depression. Since there are no rehearsals to go to, no crazy cast mates to deal with, I am lonely. In fact tonight was the first night I went out all week. Another thing is...I am having an extremely difficult week.

At this point in my college career I should be doing a lot of things. I should be interning, looking for jobs, making sure my grades are in check. I should not being going to Disney World for a semester. But I am. I am because I need a break. As much as it will kill me to be away from my family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, I will have to. I hate it. I'm going to miss a thespian Barn Show and a Mainstage. What they are, I have no idea yet. I'm going there alone, no friends or family. So why should I feel this way now?

Well there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Pressure from dad to get an internship (got one) and a job (still working on such) for the summer to make some money. Pressure from mom which is really from dad. Grandfather being sick again. Trying to keep up with school work. Planning the new york trip and so on. I have also lost another good guy friend and I think that it might just be me pushing guys away with the things I do. I need to feel secure and comforted. I'm sorry.

I feel like a nobody. I feel like I don't matter. I want to feel differently, but I don't and it hurts. I want someone to care and it doesn't seem like anyone does. I'm lost...and no matter how many times Michael Buble tells me "Babe you're not lost" I don't believe him.

So where do I go from here?
I just pray things will be ok.

Until then... me