Where has that old man gone, Lost in a February Song...

Tell him it won't be long
till he opens his eyes
and I never want to let you down
forgive me if I slip away
February Song~Josh Groban~

Welcome to February. This is a fun month for me. My brithday is in this month and the dance marathon is in this month. Also, I get to see Savion Glover and a play. It's going to be fun.

T-Dogg comes up tomorrow to help me begin my brithday celebrations even though they are a bit early. It will be a great weekend however.

I also am not a fan of this month...Right smack in the middle of February comes the holiday I am not a fan of. Well In fantasy land I am a fan of it, but most years I am not. It is Valentine's Day. Last year I asked for a sign on Valentine's Day and I got one. Apparently, I can fly. This year once again I will be single. I wish with all of my wishes that I wasn't. I wish I was spending it with that special someone. I do have a love. However, he just doesn't love me, infact we are not even speaking which makes my life a bit rougher than I would like it to be. and in the midst of everything going on in my life, I would just like to hear that he cares. That everything I am doing in my life he is proud and supportive. That he cares. If I was going to fall off a cliff tomorrow, I would just like to know that whatever it was meant something. He can stay wrapped around the finger he has been wrapped around for some time now, I don't care. I just wish I knew it mattered. However, I want the truth. The honest truth is that my friendship means nothing to him since he can not man up enough to talk to me or even accept me as a friend. He's afraid. Well life is about taking chances. I took a HUGE chance. I said yes last April only to get my heart torn in two and to sit in day dreams until this very day. Each day was a chance that I took with prayer, praise, and Grace of God. Whatever I had, was a blessing. He was beautiful, inspiring, full of life, when he was with me, he was himself. That in itself was beautiful. I miss him, I'm not afraid to admit that. It hurts to know he doesn't care.
I wish it wasn't Valentine's Day. I wish my heart wouldn't fill my head with silly dreams of roses with a card or a date that I knew nothing about, except that it was to be special. I wish some Christian guy would man up and win my heart over so I could forget this all. Even if it's not meant to be forgotten, I don't like thinking that anything could happen again.

Dear Lord,
Please keep my heart in Your hands. Protect it with all Your grace. Give me peace to know that You and You alone have picked out that one very very special guy who will win my heart over. Help me to be ok with the fact that I am single. Let me live in Your joy. You are Everlasting, Almighty, and All Knowing.


And so this is where I end. But I will always end in Hope. I know whoever he is, whereever he is...he'll come find me. Until then it's fantasy land.

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust.