Being Happy in today's world counts for nothing

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
he's the reason for the tear drops on my guitar

"I haven't been thinking about us. I needed not to give it not or else I would have given it too much thought."~Lorelai Gilmore

Today I had a fun day at the beach with my parents,aunt, unc, and cousin. It was nice to go and relax for the day especially with everything that is going on in our lives right now. However, what I got was a little more than I needed. The shore house is full of memories from a pretty amazing time i had last summer. And even though I have every reason to hate those memories because they were all pretty much fake, as much as i have the right to hate the person they were with, and I should just forget everything. But how can I forget a time when I was so happy? When waking up wasn't so hard because aside from God, I knew or thought I knew that I meant something to someone. Well down the beach I was happy as happy can be and we had a wonderful time! Star gazing, midnight walking on the beach, the game of Life, watchin the morning appear on the deck with some tea, and just hanging out. I'll admit it, I cried and almost threw up on the way home today. I mean Im not hungry or anything right now. I feel like I felt when I broke up with the kid. And maybe if I didn't break up with him we would still be together and growing in our faith and just being amazing. But then again maybe we would be miserable. I don't know why things happen, but God plans it that way. And the kid doesn't care about me any more so it doesn't really matter what I think about that (he said so himself to me). It just sucks with everything that is goin on.

My dad is sick, he gets operated on when im in vail and who knows the toll its going to take on my family. I won't be here so it will be hard on me.
Me going to Vail is hard in itself. Im going way out of my comfort zone but this is all Gods master plan for me. I'm just following the leader so to speak.

Things will get better, butfor now....my heart goes out to this kid who is super lost and even though he always said he didn't want to grow up like his dad, I see similarities between him and the things he told me about his dad. Like father, like son I guess.

until Vail!

Starry Starry Night

Paint your colors blue and grey

So being at home has been awesome. I made my first months rent on the apt at school in less than 5 days at work. I did work 5 straight days and it is tiring but its ok. I got to see a lot of great people and make some extra cash for the summer and all.

I havent really done too much besides work and yoga. It really takes a lot out of me and I have been tired. However ive pretty much done all my shopping for CO.

Im excited because this is a week where I get to see a whole bunch of my friends.

I promise to write more when I am inspired.... It will be longer... so until then...

Would I be Out of Line

If I said, I miss You?

So today I drove home from college to end my soph school year. It was quite the journey. I cried a bit. I am happy to be home, but I am so sad to leave. Because I am going across the country I will not be able to spend time with people I have grown close to over this past school year.

Yesterday was perhaps the hardest day of my life. I had to say a final goodbye to my big and the first person I ever met in Thespians. It was really upsetting. I also had to say goodbye to everyone for the summer knowing that they all still had a week with each other. I wish I could be with them right now but with my dad being sick and everything its just nice to be back home, even if I do have to sleep on the couch. I love being home and its good for me. I do miss everyone, but its good to be home.

Ohana means family. No body left behind or forgotten. I now know what that means. My thespian family is amazing. I could not ask for a better group of people to spend my college days with. Not just my thespian family, but the thespians in general make an amazing family. I know I would not be in school if it wasn't for them. We have our hard times but for the most part they are great. I just want the world to know that.

I must get back to my paper now....oh life.

Later Dayz.

These will be the times we miss

Johnny says: Why can't it stay like this?

And I sure do love these crazy summer nights. When we all get together. Days that I'll remember all my life. Yeah they seem to last forever.

Wow. I can't believe I have 2 days of classes left as a sophomore. It's real scary. I am writing this entry to procrastinate my 5 page paper thats due next tuesday. I will get it done. It's just a matter of sitting and typing it all out. I have compiled most of the information I need. However, I need a good grade on it so I'll probably be freaking out like tomorrow or something.

This week has been great! I've had very little work to do so my nights have been amazing. Monday we played all afternoon in the sunshine!!!! Ultimate Frisbee and twister with Thespians is awesome. I really do love those kids so much, they might not know it, but they mean the world to me. I have battle scars from the Ultimate game but it's ok. I went out to the look Out with some amazing kids sunday night after inductions. Good times! We are trying to get a group to go tonight or tomorrow I'm hoping tonight because it will be amazing if the clouds go away but I might just push it back to tomorrow.

The weather has been great here. Hot sunny days. Yesterday it was a hot thunderstorm. It felt so great! Not to mention that it was Amazingly Beautiful. I hope there are some in Vail that we will get to see.

Which reminds me, I have to look for a job in Vail. The ranch hasn't gotten back to me yet so I guess I'll try to work at like Home Depot or something of the sort. Oh and be sure to look out for Vail Updates because I will be doing it as often as I can.

Until Summer!