On the Road Again

Christmas this year was amazing...I think everyone liked their gifts and we had a great time.

I dunno it just didn't feel like Chirstmas this year for some reason.

The day after I had the financial talk with my dad about what i need to do when i get out of school blah blah blah and so on. It was a great talk and I might go to Disney for the college program in the fall. ( a dream of mine).

Today I leave again. I leave for D.C. for Cru's regional conference Radiate. I'll be there until the first. This is the second year in a row I don't get to spend new years with my family. I really don't want to go to conference but I already made the $80 deposit fee. Oh well that's life I guess. THey make you sign up for this thing almost a full month ahead of time and to get the discounted price u have to pay the deposit fee by a certain date. So I did that cause I could not afford to pay 300$ for this thing. And now I don't even want to go. Ugh. I'll just deal with it. Im sure Ill have a blast when Im down there.

I wont be writing until after the first so have a great New Year all!!!!!

Until 2008
Me~

Christmas at Bernie and Joe's, A Trip to the ER, and More!

YAY!!! It's the Most Wonderful Time of the YEar!

So this past Saturday we went down to my Grandparents house for Christmas!!! It's tradition, I love it I'm not complaining! Well it was a bit more exciting this year. Not only were presents sure amazing piled high and included a Belle Princess Pillow for me, but there was some special. See with my dad being sick this summer and me not being home, it was hard on my family to prep my bro for college, take care of home stuff, mom to run a bball team, and take care of 16 yr old wild child like my sister. So my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins (my mom's sister and her fam) stepped in. They have 2 daughters my sisters age and mine. So we're close. THey did a lot for us, including keeping me up to par via email when my mom could not. Or making that phone call to CO to say hi and send love. So my dad goes out and buys them a Wii. Well.... no one saw it coming. So they get this nice card and the 4 of them are huddled around it holding this box and reading together. Then they open it. Oh Boy I wish I could show you the expressions that filled the room.So much excitement (and disappointment from my family cause we didnt get one). Then another box comes out for us from my dad and low and behold...we got a Wii too!! SO MUCH FUN!!! We set my cousin's Wii at my grandparents house and everyone was playing...My poppop was the one who was the most into it though. Haha hat was a sight to see. So a lovely surprise for us this Christmas.

Last night I went to the ER. It's not a trip home unless I go to the ER. The summer after my freshman year at school I fell out of my door and horribly sprained my foot in August. THen that winter i had an asthma attack in the ER. Nothing happened this THanksgiving, that I can remember. But Low and behold... I was in the ER last night. Another one of my famous Asthma attacks. I swear one minute your fine, the next your coughing and gasping for air, they sneak up on ya. We didn't stay because it was like full and we had to wait, after a half hour of waiting I felt better, the nurse listened to my lungs and she said i was fine and i could go. We didn't get Charged! Merry Christmas us!! I'm a little better now... just being careful.

I worked today. I don't want to be a scrooge or anything but I LOVE WORKING the day before Christmas. People tip so well. My co-waitress and I only did a total of 40 checks and we made well over $100. That's good considering a good day at the Diner is like $80 or less. Too bad it all has to go to my next car payment.

Well tonight we go to Mass and then head over to My aunts to hang out. We'll come home. I'll sneak my sister's gift downstairs and hide the pieces to it for her hunt tomorrow (more on that later). My bro, well he can wait lol. I can't wait for the Walt Disney World Christmas parade in the morning and Christmas brunch with dad's mom and dad. So excited! Christmas is awesome!! Even though I have been a grump because I'm the only one single around here these days and so I don't get any mistletoe kisses, jewlery, or what not again this Christmas. I've been better the past few days.... haha

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!

~Me~

Oh My Anthony Bourdain

So I'm sitting here watching No Reservations. For those of you unfamiliar to this show... It is Anthony Bourdain as he travels the world discovering cultures and great food.

Well I love Anthony Bourdain. I am in the process of reading his book Kitchen Confidential, though I am not past the first chapter yet, and I am amazed. He's amazing. It might just be my love of chefs. I mean if there is anything I love more than theatrically talented men, it's a man who can cook well and does it with perfection. While Bourdain's life isn't perfect, he's had is drug use days, I still can't help but love him for his talent and ability have a fun life.

Watching No Reservations, a show I recently became hooked on thanks to my Heroes buddy, I just fall even more in love with him. Also, I get to learn a lot about other cultures. I don't get to eat a lot of things (meat allergy) but I do love watching how different cultures make their favorite foods. It's great!

And now....



I cannot wait to see this movie!!! I am so in love with the first one, that the second has to be amazing. Ok I am a sap for the love story that just so happens to appear in the first one. I hope that it gets continued in the second. I cannot wait for the adventure and the clues and trying to solve this movie. I am so very very excited!!! I think Chuck is taking me on Friday and I'm SUPER EXCITED!!!

I'm taking my 3 little boy cousins to see Alvin and the Chipmunks on Saturday. They were really excited when I mentioned it. Pray for me cause they are a handful! haha

TOP CHEF MARATHON!!! that means I have to go...

Until Mistletoe Kisses...
Me

Merry Christmas...let me cause an accident for you...

So one thing that really irks me about the Holidays is drivers...
Yes I am a driver, but I am very aware of my surroundings. I think this has to do with the fact that my car is brand new and I don't want to hurt it.

So Sarah and Ben, my fave couple, and I went to the big mall today to the Apple store so I could get the sims and Ben could get the Leopard system. But on the way... we almost got into three accidents. Count em. 3. One was a huge white truck who didn't know what a turn signal was. Another was someone who had no clue where they were going, and another was another car who didn't know what a turn signal was.

Note to Holiday shoppers Everywhere: KNOW THE AREA YOU ARE DRIVING TO. LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR CAR, turn signals, breaks, etc.
DONT TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING...OR CHECK EMAIL..OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU CAN DO!
Finally: PAY ATTENTION!!!

The last thing we need is people dying because of careless people on the road.

Ok that's my rant...

Christmas is soon!!!

P.S. all I want for Christmas is a nice guy...Santa, do you think this is at all possible?

Later Dayz

Me~

Christmas Movies Galore and Losing a Best Friend

So I am at home. Sorry it has been a while between posts. I was getting situated to come home and finishing up classes.

It's been rough you know. I finished my 14 page Script analysis final and I have been working on my Comm 410 final which only have to be 5-6 pages long, but I'll be lucky if I reach that. I don't even think that I am doing this final right, but I just don't have time. I am wiped clean from that 14 pager on Spring Awakening (it was a lot of fun but Spring Awakening isn't exactly a cheery play. Lots of death and stuff). I need to do well on this but something in my gut tells me I'm doing it wrong. Rob checked out my first two pages and said it looked fine, but who the heck knows...he does do better on his papers then me though. I'm taking a break from it until I can get Lexus Nexus to work....more than likely on the other computer. So I can find stuff to add. Grrr I hate papers...this is why I am a comm major.

I had that talk with my parents last night. You know the one about what happens now that I am almost a senior and what I am supposed to do with my life and so on.... I cried, my dad always makes me feel horrible about it. I mean I did get an internship and I am doing a Co-op with that company next semester but for some reason it's not enough because I'm only making $8 an hr. Then I got yelled at because they know all I really want to do is theatre and they kept repeating...you don't make any money is theatre. blah blah blah. stressful. So stressful. I just want to do something I love. and to be honest, besides theatre I don't know what that is. Yeah doing stuff with comm is fun and all but its the people that make it fun. I don't really want to live out of a suitcase ding freelance. I don't want to be a teacher. I just want to make people smile. So maybe I will do an internship in Disney. Maybe I will give up my senior year of PSU football. Who knows. All I know is that it's time to step up.

I have been watching Christmas movies a lot since I've been home. Love Actually was last night when I had writers block trying to describe the purpose of the Masked Gentleman in Spring Awakening. I love Love Actually. Great movie. However, its hard because well I have to be alone on Christmas since you know guys are jerks blah blah blah. I wish it was different a lot of times. Sometimes I just wish I knew what i was doing wrong. He'll come around someday I suppose, that Prince Charming of mine.

Now onto the Losing a Best Friend Part. My ex turned 21 this past weekend. Actually Yesterday was his birthday...Happy Birthday ex, you'll never know. Funny thing is, I broke up with him because he was being a jerk and I still have feelings for him. Or maybe it's just the fact that I still feel/care for him. Whatever. ANyway my best friend, a guy, who is also his best friend, who just so happened to get a girlfriend while i was away over the summer (lost yet?), out of nowhere stopped talking to me. I was like ummm ok. Stopped calling me to get coffee, stopped everything. I even bought him a Christmas gift, which is goin right back to the store. I just don't get it. So the theme of the week is my lack of trust in guys because of the boys in Nittany Gardens...I mean come on. Thats just a jerky move right there. Prolly something with his girlfriend. Prolly because I was upset he wouldn't work for me on a night when i was getting three hrs a sleep because he had to visit his gf who he was going to see in 2 weeks. Ugh you can't even call them Men because they are really just immature boys.

So if you are wondering why the blog is called Romantic's Song...it's because I hope that maybe one male who reads this, any male in the world, will treat some lucky lady better than I myself have been treated. And Maybe it will catch like some disease. Maybe there are guys out there telling their friends that what they are doing is stupid, immature, and unfair to girls everywhere. Not to mention, disrespectful, hurtful, and trust threatening. It hurts. So maybe, dude, whoever you are. PLease make a difference. So I know that some girl out there is being made happier than me because he guy is not a jerk.

Until Faithful Men~
(I promise I won't be that long)

Me

Snowy Ice Rain

That describes my morning anyway. For some reason the weather can't decide what it wants to do before it drops a huge snowstorm on us. Today on my way to Starbucks it was clearly sleeting (ice rain), then it started raining and now I'm sitting in starbucks (I was studying) and its snowing....big flakes, then small ones, then fast and slow. It's crazy.

I have a test today I need to do well on. I was hoping that it got cancelled but no such luck. I have been studying for the past two days. I feel ok about the material. It's only 50 Multiple Choice Questions. But it's the last test of the semester and we don't have a final. I am nervous a bit. After that I have my last official class of Italian. Tomorrow we have an essay exam. 100-120 words in Italian on a movie we saw for the Italian Film Series. The movie I saw was ok. But we have to write these if clauses and stuff...it's confusing. But it's my last Italian class EVER!!!!

My grades this semester....not so hot. I think I might get one A. That is to say if I do well on the final paper. That A would be in THeatre...how can I get anything less in a Theatre class. I love it! I expect somewhere in the B area for the rest of my classes. It makes me nervous and unsettled but as long as they are no C's right? It's just that at the end of last Semester I had a 3.64 GPA and now I'm not going to get that. No way. If I'm lucky a 3.0 which will drop my Cume GPA to like a 3.0. It's only at a 3.3 now. Oh grades why do you haunt me. Sometimes I fee like Moritz from Spring Awakening. I would never kill myself over grades, but I can see where he comes from. If people didn't put so much pressure on us to do well in school, I think we would enjoy it more. We wouldn't feel like we have to be there. We would be there because we do want to learn. We'd do a lot better that way. No one would be forced to think about money and such. We would only think about what we would love to do and we would become successful that way.

I wish it was that easy.

I am excited because I am going home this weekend. What day I have no idea because of the Noreaster...gotta love them! I might have to go home alone now. I was driving someone but if I have to leave early he can't come with me. It would be horrible to go home alone in a snow storm. I would be scared. I don't worry so much about my driving as I do other peoples. It's kinda scary. Anyways I better go and get to the class to study for 45 min b4 the exam. Then I can sell back my last book and work on my final 2 papers. Then I will be done after this weekend. No final exams for me. Just Final essays. one of which is on Blogger!!! Get excited haha.

Until cozy fireplaces....
~me~

A Snow White Kiss

So earlier in this season...well the fall season, maybe late summer season..I wrote about how every girl wants to be kissed in the rain. Or at least I do...I like rain! And it's really romantic and cute. However today it is snowing.... a light but nice coating snow.
I decided that every girl should want what I will call a Snow White Kiss...not a "I got poisoned by an apple and asleep Prince come rescue me!" and by Prince, I mean the Handsome Prince...not the singer.
Anyway..the Snow What Kiss would happen in the winter (duh) when the snow is falling gently. It should be unexpected. Like when making snow angels or laughing after slipping. It should be special and sweet. If it happens in a snow storm...it won't be romantic. It must be when the snow is falling gently.
That is my romantic thought for the day.

Some extra thoughts: If I am paying money to go to class in the winter...I want coat hooks on the wall....It is very awkward to sit in class with a heavy coat on. Also, putting it on the back of the chair, the floor, etc makes it dirty. Seriously....coat hooks.

I have work but I don't feel like doing it. I think I have all the time in the world but really I don't. I should get started on more work, but seriously...its just not workin for me. Homework stinks. I'm against it. But alas...I am going to college.

However! I got a real job. I am a production assistant at the public broadcasting station. Granted it pasy a little over min wage...but my boss is pushing to get us more money. The university only allows him to pay so much. He doesn't like it. Upon my completion of my internship with them is how i got it and I am so very excited for it!!!

Well I better go study Italian or write a paper on blogs or finish my internship paper...something productive.

Until warm fires (in fireplaces of course)
~Me

Purity comes in many forms....snow is one of them

Ah snow is beautiful. It coats everything white and some how everything seems brand new. It sparkles and it shines.
It's beautiful!
Today it snowed...while the weather itself was horrible, wind, sleet, etc., The snow was beautiful. It felt so pure. Probably because its the first snow I've seen all year...except in CO this summer.

It was GREAT!!!!

I feel like Christmas. I feel like Disney World. I really really really want to go to Dinsey World this Christmas break. I might go too! For something like 3 days in Disney World! I LOVE DISNEY WORLD!!! It will be my birthday present... SO I'm either going in Jan or May...before or after my birthday.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO!!!!

Disney is like my fave place in the world. That and Ireland and Italy. THree fave places. But DISNEY is the top. One day I will work there making people's dreams come true. I love making people's dreams come true! Seriously! SERIOUSLY!!!! Seeing smiles on peoples faces just awww man its AWESOME!!!

You gotta try it sometime...just smile and say hi to people. It works!

Until DISNEY!!!!

Frostbite~ For The Kids

So this weekend's canning trip was wonderful!!! I'm really proud of the Thespians stepping it up and raising some money. The title of this post comes from the chilly chilly weather, wind, and standing outside in the cold for hours! We raised a lot of money for the kids! However, some of us came close to getting some pretty nasty frostbite! We had a great time though. THe girls beat the boys 2-1 in battle of the sexes. It was great!

Last night I got in an argument with my roommate...I mean seriously people. She doesn't pay the frick attention. Half the time she doesn't know I'm here or that I've left. Then she has like 50 ppl over when I'm trying to sleep. It stinks because the other two girls in the apt are friends with her too and they all have the same group of friends. THere is a party for one of our roommates birthday's tonight and I am going to leave in a bit to choose a cozy corner of Starbucks (hopefully) to sit in. This way I can get ahead on some work and also just relax. I'll be able to do a little blog surfing and check out what's good and not good. Just kidding, most of the blogs I read are pretty sweet. But still... I wish I could just sit and watch a movie. For once in peace. I tried to watch Hairspray today while I was making my Christmas Cards to send out... don't you know they decide to finally arrive home from Church at 3 In the middle of the movie and make noise the whole time.... Then my roommate tries to be nice after last night and I was about to hit her....it's all fake. Seriously. It's getting really annoying. I have a feeling there might be a HUGE fight breaking out soon...not to mention its really hard to do school work in a place that has so much stinkin tension.

Anyways enough complaining. I have gotten a lot of work done in the past two days. This frees up more time to work on my two huge papers I have due during finals week. Also it frees up time to finish the work I have for this upcoming week and time to see the Italian movie I have to see before next Friday for our final paper....Finally I'll be done Italian 3!!! I hope to get a head start on these things and have them done before I leave on the 15th. That's right...no finals!!! Just projects and such!!!

OH IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!!!! And I took my Christmas Card Pictures in it!!! It was great!

Until Snowier days!
~Me~

I Keep Giving In But I Should Know Better

I'm so stupid. Some brilliant people put it into my head that I could ask a guy out and how could he say no.
Well ta da! THe no was said in a very nice way. But still. I am wounded. It kinda hurts. I dunno.

It's weird because I hate asking guys out. It's everything I stand against. However, I saw Enchanted and Disney put a twist on things and then my friends were like "see..." so I tried it.
I should just listen to myself. It would only have gone wrong and it did. I hope things aren't weird. I would like to stay friends with this person. I hope we will.

Anyways...I guess God is trying to tell me to shut my brain up and start listening to him. So here are the lyrics to a song that I have found as a help for that.

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

~Come Home Running~ Chris Tomlin

until unbroken hearts....

~me~

WHAT IS GOING ON?
All of a sudden I found myself freaking out today. I was super stressed for no reason. I mean I have no work due tomorrow, but I do have a lot of work due in the next few weeks. I have gotten a good lead on all of those projects but I am going canning this weekend so maybe I feel like I am losing time. I have no idea. Its just bad I guess. But then I calmed down. haha

I visited this site for class globalvoicesonline.org and I came upon this really upsetting video about how Japanese fishermen are slaughtering dolphins. It was really graphic and not what I wanted to see. Then Hayden Panettire showed up. I she was like crying for them (she surfs just like me! haha sry that's my Heroes obsession getting the best of me). That part made me laugh a little but the rest I was like ready to cry. Ugh why do people have to be so mean. Dolphins are the most peaceful creatures for the most part. Not to mention that they are beautiful.

Today I have a lot to do. I want to work more on the stuff I have due but I can't. I might be able to for like an hour, but I probably won't because I'm lazy sometimes. I have to go get fleece for my little's Christmas gift. Then I have to get posterboard for the posters for this weekend. Then I have to print out pictures to put on the posters and then go see my little. Hopefully we can put the posters together. I dunno. Then I have Cru and then a top secret meeting for next weekend! Yay for inductions into Thespians! Love it!

Maybe that's why I'm stressed?
I spilled coffee all over my bookbag today in starbucks.....man its just that kind of day. I smelt really sweet all day lol.

Until less messy days....
me

Tomorrow is a brighter day

Hey!!

So the tests came back negative!!! It was scary to go alone, but I survived and I am very healthy! I feel so blessed.

Thanksgiving was AMAZING!!! My family and friends OH how I LOVE them! I am constantly amazed by them. The musical at my high school was beyond words. I was in awe! I love those kids as well!

I am just full of love! It's great to be back! 3 weeks til Christmas Break!

We are inducting new members into Thespians this semester and that's fun! We have communion for them, which is not like church. It's a lot more fuN! I'm really excited.

I have no insightful thoughts today. Just that my arm hurts a little because a nail went into my wrist last night. Not too far, but still scary. Just missed a vein which would have been fun! haha no.

Until Snowy Days (of which have yet to appear)

~Me

One day at a time

I'm scared.
Tomorrow is scary.
Tomorrow I go for a check up and I get to ask questions.
I'm scared.

Things are not right in my body. I'm all out of whack. Bruises won't heal and I'm weak, a lot. I'm worried.

Finding strength is hard. Finding peace is easy. Trusting that things will be ok is easy.

I have my theatre friends, the ones who know care a lot. They've gotten me through the semester without worry. Loving hugs and smiles. They can see through me. They know I'm terrified to find out. Even if I am fine, its still scary.

The one thing I am fighting to find a cure for, is what I might have. And then what?

Lord,
I am scared. Please be by my side. I know you will be. Comfort me oh Lord.


I am scared.

Being Content In A World That is Never Content

Today is beautiful. For the past two days it has rained and that was beautiful. I woke up early this morning so that I could go to starbucks and do work. This is what greated me: A nice warm shower. The sun coming up on a beautiful fall day. Brisk weather to let me know that fall has finally arrived here. A nice quiet morning at Starbucks with a delicious blueberry muffin and a nice grande carmel macchiato. Walking onto campus and glancing up and down the mall to see trees of every color greating me with falling leaves. It was a beautifully breathtaking, peacefilling, sight.
Today for the first time since I have arrived here at school.... I feel peace.

I have been so busy with homework, internship, ice rink work, Thespian stuff, THON canning/planning, THON Morale, and everything else in this world that tells me I always need more, that I forgot to take a step back and look around. When I finally did, the beauty of fall brought me to my knees. Not literally, but I sure felt that way. God has created this beauty that we daily ignore because something better or more time consuming or thought consuming is in this world. Our world is never satisfied. We are always being told there there is more to do, more to see, more important things then what is around us. But stop and look. Where ever you are right now, your office cubicle, in a classroom with 450 other students, in your room, on your deck, in a computer lab, wherever, just stop and take in the beauty. Think about all the reasons God has placed this place in your life. Think about the beauty of that gray wall between you and the guy who drinks 50 cups of coffe and has that horrible looking lunch at work, think about the reasons why you are where you are and just be content. For one moment just be content and thank God for everything he has placed in your life because there is nothing better then where you are right now. After all, things could be a lot worse.

Be content in a world that is never content.

It is so beautiful how God does these things to us. Last night I met with my Morale team to think of a name and we did no work at all. Instead we spent the time getting to know each other. It was perhaps one of the best nights of my life. I got to know so many people who I will be working closely with until the end of Feburary and everything we do will be FTK (For The Kids) or FTD (For the Dancers). Its really beautiful.

But alas I have class and must be off.
Remember: BE CONTENT!

FTK/FTD
ME~

Cause I've been in love before and I've found that love was more than just holding hands

So i just realized what a depressed bum I've been in the last few entries. Why did I choose to live that way? What did I do to make my life miserable? Because I know that if something is bad in my life, more than likely, I made it that way. Because the Lord wants what's best for me and therefore, if I am struggling with things that are causing me pain, I am keeping them from the Lord. Well enough of that... I am done! Alas! I have chosen to once more give heart fully to God. WHEEEEEE! It's such a freeing feeling.

Ok so it's not as easy as that. It takes a lot of steps and yes it is very freeing. I have chosen to accept and make the best of my living situation. Forget about boys until God places them into my life and Live a life worthy of the Father's love. But we are never fully worthy of the Father's love, we are always dirty and stained but He loves us anyway. Making us White as Snow when we confess our sins to Him. Is He not beautiful? Is He not the studliest man you have ever seen? And even though He is fully man and fully God we can love Him just the same. That beautifully amazing grace that has Saved through a Father's love for a Son and their love for what they have created. Us.

It takes my breath away everytime kids. Everytime.

I wish this heat would die down. I am excited cause it is supposed to be 68 or something tomorrow...thats a good drop around here from the 85 + humidity we have been getting. I will be able to exercise without fainting. Dance, sing, and live without being sick.

Oh but I am sick, we just aren't quite sure what's wrong with me yet. It's going to be ok though. I trust that I will be ok. The Lord has done wonderful things in and through me. He will take care of me. He's my rock on which I stand.

Oh what fun I have been having! Dance parties, Juggling, Hayrides, Singing, Bible Study, and Acting I couldn't ask for more. But we all become blindsided by our problems and they take over us. THey cause us pain and make us lazy. That will be no more of me. I have choosen action against the problems of my life. I am so excited to start!

Until a rainy day!!!!!
As always.
Me

keepin thoughts part 2

Sometimes I think of a perfect day with many inperfections. Of getting lost on they way to our destinatio and of being the only one able to calm you down. I think of the show and the song. The Jekyll and Hyde club and the creepy alien thing. Of bad bathroom stories and the filming of Spiderman 3. I think about riding home with my head on your shoulder. And about your mom giving me directions. I think about the stars, the smile, my hands in yours and the words you couldn't say. I think of the line; "This is how I know, this is what I see, this is love to me." and I think about how with the words you couldn't say, I ruined it all. It's a memory I can't seem to erase.

more thoughts to be kept. Sometimes I wonder why I just cant erase that stupid memory.

Keepin thoughts

You know when you have feelings and things just come out?
I just wrote this to a friend:
Dear friend, can I call you friend? Are we friends any more? I've seemed to have lost you and now I can't find you. I was crazy once and you never left now I'm sane and you've seemed to have gone. Dear friend, can I call you friend? Are you there, do you hear me? I miss you sometimes, like when I used to cry and you'd be there. When I said I was in love and died all in the same summer. Dear friend, can I call you friend? Did I do something wrong or have you just replaced me with a million others. Dear friend, I miss you and I don't want to lose you like I lost the other. Dear friend, can I call you friend? Are you there?

You know what's sad? It's the truth. Something really funny I have observed in the past two years. When people live with other people, they are very easily influenced....they become different and then they are gone. Just like that.

I saw him today and I Just kinda smiled and waved because he smiled and waved at me but on the inside I died. I died because everytime I see him my heart aches for him. Not because I learned what it was like to have a perfect day with many imperfections, but because he is lost. And I ache because he looked me in the face and said, "I don't care about you and I never cared about you. I don't want a friendship and the relationship we had wasn't real." I die inside because I want for him so badly to know Christ and be the man I know he can be. His heart is so beautiful but I have not seen any beauty lately. He doubts a lot, its always been that way. He doesn't know how to trust and he's not willing to learn and my heart aches for him. It aches day and night because he lost something that he will never get back and I lost someone who I cared about very deeply. And do you know what I don't understand? I don't understand why he thinks he can smile and wave at me, when he looked me in the eyes and said, "I don't want a friendship with you." And my heart aches for him.

Anyways aside from the monologue there...things are ok. A little rough around the edges but thats life. Beauty in the making by the grace of God through trials created by Him to bring me closer to HIs heart. It's a blessing rather than a curse. I have faith that things will be ok in the end. Because our hearts are bigger than our toughts.

until a crisp fall day...

"And when everyone says it can't be done, Ducks Fly Together."

The Quote is from Mighty Ducks D2. Great movie....

So this weekend besdies having an awesome football game....I pretty much watched movies. I Think the total was 7. This is because I had one of the hardest weekends probably ever.

Friday night I hit a super low point. This semester has been crazy for the first two weeks and everyone is busy over their necks. I have not gotten to hang out with my friends that much and I've been hurt by them even more. The fact is, I ask my friends to let me know if anything is going on and they always go out, but no one ever tells me. Well ok, I think to myself something is wrong. Friday night I would say I caught a semi heat/depression bug because i was real real low and it was hard.

Saturday was that amazing football game I was telling you about. I love it when our boys win! I always went and hung out with a friend at the student center and we just chilled. It was sweet.

Sunday: well my hometown boys lost. It was a really sad day. I had a few of the guys over and I cooked for them and we watched the game. Then I did my homework, but I finished it all early so I had nothing to do but watch movies. All my friends had homework and stuff so no one wanted to hang out. It was kinda sad.

Now we are into the school week. I start my internship today. I'm excited, but it might mean that I have to miss out on BIble Study. Thats a rough one for me. However on wednesday I have the Bible study that I am co leading so that is good. I can't wait to hang out with those girls. They are so much fun!

Well I must be off to class now. I hope everything is well whever you are!

Until colder days....

College...."This is real life."

Thanks to J.Bott for: "This is real life."

My first two years of college have been blind eye experiences. I go to a top party school and I have never really been introduced into that setting too heavily. I do hang out with theatre kids and well that setting is almost a given. But I have had gracious friends who respect me for me.

This year being year three my eyes have been opened. The other day I went to my 10 10 class and sat next to a kid who it seems had drank a lot the pervious night or early that morning and he smelt so badly of alcohol that i wanted to up chuck. But its true. People have had a party every night this week here at school. I mean talk about being excited for school.... My heart really goes out to those people who live their lives at parties. Who have nothing but parties to look forward to or getting drunk. Is life really all that bad?

Another thing...I've been becoming and overachiver. I am swamping myself. I think its just to get away from some things that I will have to face eventally mainly my living situation. Hopefully after this week things will be slower.

Finally, I am tired of giving my all for certain people/clubs and getting walked all over. I've come to learn that it doesnt matter how much you love something or even if you are decent at what you do...its all about who is popular, who holds the most in the club, and who is friends with the Heads. It's really quite upsetting because I am ready to leave a group that is so dear to my heart because its what I love to do, and then I would not have a place to enjoy what i love to do. I hate the situation I'm in and I'm trying to work it out. We will see how this semester goes.

Until sunshinny days... and less humid ones at that.

Wanna find you there wanna hold on tight

So after watching High School Musical 2, which was really good, I've decided that I want something like this. I want a guy who will stand out in the rain and kiss me. One who will realize when he is wrong and make up for it. One who will try and make every day special.

I pray that God will send him when we are both ready and I wish that would be soon, but something tells me it's going to be a while. Good guys these days are hard to come by.

I leave for school on Monday and I am excited but I'm really upset that I've only had a week with my family. I know this is what real life is going to look like and that I have to cherish every moment with them. So I will, I just wished my dad and my brother felt the same way. I know things will be ok, everyting turns out ok.

Until Longer days....

"I miss my friend"

To put is shortly and nicely some of my friends have strayed. I miss them. They have become different since I left for Colorado and now that I have returned I am worried. Of course there are those who have stood with me by and by. No matter how far away they go, they are always there for me. But I am slowly finding out that others just dont care. It makes me upset. I thought some of these people were my closest friends. I guess thats the way the cookie crumbles in life. People come and go. I am going to miss my friends.

Being home from Colorado is great. I went for a run today and it felt good. I might consider one again tomorrow. Tomorrow night i Have date night with Paul Michael. I miss him its been just about 5 months since I've last seen him. We are grabing some dinner and I can't wait to tell him about Colorado and to see his reaction when I order a salad. I miss my magical magician friend Paul and I am so excited to spend time with him.

I am hoping to go to Hershey Park before heading back up to school on Monday. This should be interesting, finding people to go is hard.

I got a new car and we named it Sharpay the Escape. My best friend Sarah thinks that its a boy car I still think its a girl car but how do you tell?

GOd has been great to me and Im so excited to see what plans He has in store. Next week is Raystown and I am excited excited for it.

I must be off. I am tired and tomorrow we are going to IKEA for some apt things and cooking supplies! I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HOME!!!!

Dad update: Hes great! He is slimming and his meds are working well. Hopefully he will be fully recovered by Christmas but we will keep praying.

Until colder days...

Put you're tiny hand in mine, look how I hold it, look how we shine.

Today I watched Boy Meets World for the first time in a long time! Its the first time I've really watched tv out here. It was the college years ep. and It was a test of trust between Cory and Tapanga. Cory took of his ring after he went to a club where girls hardly wear anything yet in the end he realized that he just needed to know that Tapanga would trust him always but he needed to realize as well that she had feelings.
I kept thinking, I want that. I want a love like that. A love that is never ending, unfailing. I want a relationship like Cory and Tapanga.

I went to ballet tonight. I realized that my future Husband better love the ballet well at least like it because I LOVE IT! Its so beautiful and passionate. If I could use my left foot more I'd take it back up but alas the sprain is still healing and the tendons will never be right. Anyway the point is its beautiful. I love art and the arts.

I dunno guys. I Just keep thinking....it would be nice to be persued.... so I'll wait until it happens. Until then...ah well.

Long time

Hey Kids
It's been a long time since my last post. I realize this and ask you not to worry about me. I am alive and safe. There has just been a lot going on around here lately and I've barely had time to check my email let alone do everything else. I still have to send out my support team email and update them.

Some things that have gone on:

Working on the project video
Went to Cru Staff Conference for the day on Sat
Went in a waterfall on sunday
Things have just been a little bit crazy during the week with work and meetings and such.
I am loving my time in Vail

I cannot wait until I get home. I might be going to Atlantis when I get home in the summer. Depends on if we get the passports in time and everything.

My dad is back at work Praise God! He seems to be doing so much better but prayers are always good.

Please keep praying for our project, our coworkers, the Vail Valley, Safe trips home, and life after Vail. Also pray for my little bro who is headed off to college soon. Not to mention me during my work day because well it is a bit stressful.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and Let me know if you have any special prayer requests.

Until longer days!

You're the perfect thing to say

Loving the song Everything by Michael Buble. Mainly because I cannot wait until I make some guy feel that way one day. I pray he's man enough to tell me that I mean the world to him. It also makes me want to wait even more for the one man that God has for me in my life. I love love love that song.

I went White Water Rafting today. It was AMAZING!!!!! The guys were out numbered by the girls but it was all good. We had a blast. I was the first one who got to jump out and swim. Others were pushed in before me though. The guys pushed me in twice because they knew I wanted to be in the water! haha. They were funny. WE hit some sweet rapids and got soaked. We wetn swimming and did flips off te raft. WE pulled over for some Lemonade with the other groups. I helped some wee ones grab some lemonade because they were just too cute. Then we kept going and going. It was sweet. For the last set of rapids 4 of us jumped out and swam them. I was one of the 4. It was AWESOME!!! I had never swam rapids before and I can't wait to do it again! I think most of all though we got to be examples of Christ. We had a blast.

It saddens my heart to think that I know people who are missing out on this amazing journey with Christ. Sometimes it's really hard to understand why in the world peope would just turn from the Lord after you have seen and heard of all His amazing works. My heart hurts just thinking about it. Being out here has opened my eyes to so many things. I can not wait until I get back to school and have my Bible Study girls. I have so much to tell them. I can't wait to bring Christ back to campus. Just by telling people of everything we have done, seen, and heard out here. God has been amazing these past weeks and I am sad to know i have to leave in 4 weeks. However, I know my work is not finished. There is so much that is to be accomplished. The Lord has been so faithful and well He's really just been HImself but I think for the first time I am really really seeing what it's like. I am awed, amazed, inspired, and complete. Honestly, people don't know what they are missing out on!

Then I Did

So its been a little over a week since staff left. I have been insanely busy infact, I had a stress attack on Thursday night. It was rough. Since the last time I wrote nothing really happened.

Today we went ziplining. It was pretty sweet. my group was the first group of the vsp to head out and we rocked it. I almost killed Tommy and then AShley almost finished off the job. It was funny haha. But everyone is ok!!! Last night I bought a Stetson Cowboy hat. It cost me some dollars. But I spent them nontheless. I even have my initals branded in them.

I made plans to go horseback riding today but those fell through. I'm hoping to go next Friday. I really don't like spending this money. I mean like horseback riding yeah but we are planning on going Rafting tomorrow and its like 40 for 2 rides. Im not sure its really worth the money. Im a little leary bout it.

The project video may cause me some stress. People just don't listen and so I have a feeling that Im not going to get anything done. I have already gotten the layout finished and Im working on pictures for the picture video. WE only have 4 weeks left...kinda scary.

THis week is going to be very trying for me. My family is on the big family vacation to the beach with my cousins and grandparents. I miss them a lot and i love this vacation but I can't be there. It hurts a bit but I know there is a reason for me being here. I Have been reading through Genesis and I have just discavered so much more things then I have before. It's pretty sweet. Anyways I should get going. I have a lot of work to do!

Until unstressful times

Sometimes you just want to wish harder

And just pray that reality never had to settle in.

Staff leaves tonight. Its hard on me because I feel like I was just getting to know them and some I hardly got to know at all. It's really hard. Especially because I have made some huge decisions as of late and I really really just want some awesome guidance. Not that I won't get it from these amazing people out here, just sometimes you need someone who's been there to throw it into perspective. It's rough. I know God wil do amazing things through and through. I compeletly trust HIm.

Other news...I made it to the top of 14,265Ft mountain yesterday July 4th. It was Mt. Quandry. It was the hardest thing I've ever done...seriously. Thanks to the amazing people who helped me reach it. Also, to the Lord who answered so many prayers and who I just wanted to Glorify by reaching the top. Gosh things are going to be so weird now. After the mountain we headed into Denver and saw Ratatoullie. I loved it as per usual. Well it wasn't amazing but it was a fairly good movie. Then we came back and I had trouble sleeping. It was rough. Lots of things are rough right now. But I'll get through them.

I Have committed myself to what I know I Need to do. I hope in the process I come across amazing lesson plans for BIble Study and also have some questions for ms. KQ when we get back to school. I am so excited to learn and grow with her again.

Lord, In everything I have accomplished this summer please, please know that I want to Glorify You and only You. My accomplishments are nothing without You! I am so thankful for the people You have placed in my life this summer and cannot wait to continue. I love You Lord.

He really is amazing!

Until later dayz

All this feels strange and untrue
and I won't waste a minute without You

"Do You Trust Me?"

"What?"
"Do You trust me?"

That set of quotes is from Disney's Aladdin. They are spoken right before Jasmine takes Aladdin's hand and they fly off on a magic carpet ride.

Think of that question.

"Do You Trust Me?"

How hard is it to place your trust in someone? For me, especially with guys, it is a hard subject. I have been hurt way too many times to place complete trust in guys. So why am I writing this small entry about trust?

This weekend I was stretched beyond my limits with the trust factor. God took it upon Himself to make sure that my weekend was full of challenging things to keep me occupied and to start my trust again. With the Great Adventure Race as stated previously in the entry before this....and even more so when we went caving yesterday. I had to completely trust more than one guy and a few girls as well. It was really well but I was seriously really scared.

When you are in a small cave with lots of people there's not too much to worry about. However, I was just plain freaking out and Ben was amazing in his help to me. Totally gave up running around the cave with all the other guys. He was a warrior and I am so thankful for him but it was really hard to keep trusting him on the way back. I remember one part where I just freaked out and I couldn't do it and it took my CG leader Jo to have me look at her and she said " Lauren You need to trust Ben, he's not going to steer you wrong." I was on the brink of tears and finally I gave way. I am so thankful for the Lord stretching me this weekend in this way. I have known ever since my hurt with Mr. Music that trust was always going to be an issue with me. I am glad to be able to trust guys again without expectations. It really is a great feeling. I have also learned to trust God more with the things He places in my life and the things He stretches me to do.

I am growing so much and while I didn't see it at first, I see it in full right now. I am amazed at the Everlasting God and His neverending Love for me. He has given me a beautiful opportunity here in Colorado and I know I would never want to spend my summer any other way.

I'm listening to Michael Buble right now and my new fave song of his is "Everything" I cannot wait until my husband can think of me that way. I am off to write to him of my adventures and struggles and triumphs in Christ so far this summer. I cannot wait until he reads these letters I have been writing him. Some will break his heart but others will just fill it with so much joy!

To end on a funny quote from David a project friend:
"You can't go wrong with Michael. If I had a man crush it would be on him." ~ In reference to Michael Buble.

I am not a hero, I am not angel, I am just a man

A man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In her eyes I am....

I cannot wait until my future husband can sing that song....and if it just so happens to be Josh Groban then that's even better! haha. No but I want to see that in my future husband. I know I will see him as a hero, an angel, and overall a man who is just trying to love me for all that I am in God's eyes as well as what he will see in me.

Today I just about died. But I also had the time of my life. We did a triathalon thingy. I didn't swim so I did 2 events. Well is was like 4. But still. I biked up this huge mountain and along the road forever. I almost didn't make it past the first biking event. However I had a great team and an awesome encourager who said, "I will make you finish! You know I'm not going to leave you until you do and even if I get annoying you will just have to deal with it." It was great. After that we hiked this mountain with loose rock and dirt, then we came to a waterfall and the ground was slippery. I just about died during that part but it was amazing. Waterfalls rock! Then we biked more and then we hiked Vail mountain which was hard and I didn't make it to the top of that mountain ( I was 30 min from it) and my group came down. It was ok thought I got so close. I had two encouragers that time and we had a lot of fun just talking and walking. I was able to finish the race with my team together and it was amazing. My hands are sunburned though haha.

Some things that God has taught me today through this: He will never leave me. He taught me to Trust people again especially guys. That prayer works ( I always knew that). THat He has all the strength I need. And so much more. I was very happy with my group and their support.

Dad Update: I talked to him today!! YAY!!! I miss him so much! He's doing well! THey had a docs appt. Yesterday in MD and everything they took out was the right stuff. Also, He doesn't have to go on Chemo because the part of cancer they found in the part they took out had not spred. He wil however, be getting check ups just incase. How faithful God is to our prayers! I am very excited to see my dad when I get home. He is not well enough to travel out here so the family will not be visiting. How sad :( I miss them all very much! I think the little bro is avoiding me cause he doesn't return my phone calls. But all is good....he'll have to call me after he gets his awesome Vail polo! Its gonna look so good on him!

I think that is all for today. Oh and I didn't get to hike that wonderful Moutain of Holy Cross....yet. CIAO!

Until hurtfree days

I've never been more homesick than now

For real guys....
Don't get me wrong cause I love it here and its beauitful and breathtaking
However I would love to see my family and to see my cherished friends.
I would love to touch the ocean and surf a few choice waves.....you know the ones that you sit out for hours waiting for. THe perfect ones that aren't really perfect.
I would love to hit an amusement park just to ride rollecoasters and see shows.
I'd like to help on the farm, play with my puppy, hang out with the DK crew, and just chill.

I know God has great plans for me here in Colorado. However, I still miss home more than I will ever be able to express in any form of words or picture or art form. There's just too much to love there.

Freedom in Forgivness

Mt. Holy Cross

So my week of fasting is over!!

Not having a computer for a whole week was challenging but really good for me. It showed me that I spend way too much time online and so I am cutting back. I am very greatful for that lesson.

Dad Update: He's good. What they took out was the right thing and its going to be a long healing process. That is ok. We are going to get through this with God's love and grace.

Vail Update: Things here are awesome. Right now I'm not feeling too hot but I had a great weekend! It was women's/men's weekend and we did different things. The boys climbed mountains or something. Us girls camped out with a bear! We ate Hobos and had smores and all that good stuff. Worshiped and such. THen we went for a hike which was soooo much fun and very beautiful. After that We ame back, showered and went out to dinner in groups with different girls. We had questions to ask and we talked alot. My group was cool and awesome! Then we came back and Beth talked and then we had girls and did girl things. THen today we went to church and then had a girls brunch at which Liz talked and every girl got a flower! It was cool.

Anyways Jo asked me to go to walmart so I'll finish later.

Things are awesome and getting better everyday!!! It's awesome. I really miss home and all but Things here aren't bad. I think we are going to Hike Holy Cross soon. I really would like to see it! It's pretty much amazing. Other than that, its horseback riding, work, and hanging with the gang.
Staff leaves in 10 days and that's sad...

Until early nights

Who Do You Think You Are Leaving Me Alone with my Guitar

Yay for listening to RENT!!! Love it!

This weekend has been fun so far. We got kicked out for 25 hours and we had to find a place to stay and stuff. I CAMPED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!! It was so much fun! We made a Fire and Everythign!!! Horrary for Godly Men to build wonderful campfires. WE even roasted Mallows. In the morning the guys made us a FIRE!!!! Cause it was pretty cold. They are so sweet we didn't even ask them lol which means they prob did it for themselves. Then we went out until we could come back at 7pm. We were trying to ask people to come to church with us or just start conversations. It was cool. WE had a few conversations and got to see some cool hang outs.

Tomorrow is church and then just chill. THe guys start Fasting tomorrow and tomorrow the girls start fasting but they don't have to do food. Most of them are but I'm not sure I will. I think I will not go online and fast from junk food. That will kill me I'm sure.

Anyways My dad is doing good. Thank you for those prayers. Please pray for the project fasting this week and for mens and women's weekend next weekend. Thanks! Feel free to leave prayer requests.

I miss home and everything but its all good. God is doing amazing things out here.

Until I get less sunburn!

Take these chains away

I'm having one of those days where things just go wrong and you want to look on the good side but you can't.
H
I really wanted to do Emcee for weekly meetings here but one of my suite mates got it instead and I'm super happy for her, but I really wanted to try it out because I might do it in the spring and school. Instead I was asked to do powerpoints, which is cool and all cause I said I would...but I dunno. Much rather emcee.

There's this kid here who reminds me of someone I put in my past. Its scary and I don't like it. However, its true. I have to work with him on the powerpoints cause hes worship band leader. Its hard.

I want to be home with my family.

I want to be home with my friends.

I want Starbucks to be open later than 8pm.

I hate work. It stinks. I wake up at 4 50 to leave at 5 30 to get to work and set up and wait until 7 in which time we open the doors and I stay there until 3. I am so tired that I don't even want to do anything later.

Listen to me. Me, me , me. it's all about me. I need to change. Today is a hard day and I really want it to just be over. As strong as I know my faith is, it's just not strong enough. It needs to be stronger. Please pray for me. I could really use the prayers. I am weak and the Lord is my strength. I just need to give my burdens to him. Unfortunetly they are burdens I don't want to let go. I need to change. I want to change. I will change.

Please Pray.
In Christ.~Me~

I lift my eyes into the hills where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Hey guys!
VAIL UDATE!!!

Thank you for prayers and support. WE love them and need them. A few of the guys got hurt on project and we would love to see them heal in a few weeks so that they can join us on hikes and such.

Tonight I made Baked Ziti and everyone raved about it. So def a good dish to make for a pot luck dinner.

Sunday we went to church and then I took a two hour nap. I was so worn out from our Saturday fun!! Around 2pm my CG girls group met and went HIKING!!! I LOVE HIKING!! It was so much fun and I love those girls so much! We went hiking up the North Trail and man it was hard and though we didn't get to the top I was a trooper...Asthma and thin air don't mix well. I wanted to go to the top but the others were getting hungry and tired and such. I got to lead the way down though! After that we all just chilled. I like chillin too.

Tonight we met with our CGs had a potluck and did our first study. It was really good. Afterwards we played MAFIA!!!! Great game. Then some ppl left to play ultimate and a few of us stayed. We played Celebrity which is an awesome game so learn how to play!!!

Im gettin ready for bed. Work this week is going to be crazy. Hopefully I'll make some money to get me through to my first pay check!!! Living on a budget is hard...oh yeah and I have to send my Rent in soon for August.

Until Warmer weather!!!

Strength is found within

YAY from VAIL!!!

Dad Update: He's HOME!!!! This is very exciting. Things are looking good and we are just waiting for test results and full healing. Please continue to pray for my family and my dad. You can especially pray for healing and that his blood sugars don't go back up. THANKS FOR THE LOVE AND THE PRAYERS!!!

Vail Update: Things here are going great. As you can tell it has been snowing a bit. Just the mountain tops have been getting the bluk of it...we get like a dusting. It should be warming up shortly I hope. Actually today was a really nice day. Work is going good but it is very tiring. Friday we celebrated some of the boys' birthdays which were this weekend. THen we hung out in our room and played some games. Today we got up early. Half of us went to our Life Skills event and half went to help with the Family Fun Fair and to help one of the pastors move. It was a lot of fun. I was in the second half of the day for Life Skills. It was a blast! We did this scavenger hunt type thing in the mountains. When we started we got "sins" 2 ppl were mute, 2 ppl were taped together at the legs (one of which was me), two ppl had to carry a tree type thing (one had one hand duct taped to it), and one carried this huge thing of water. It was tough. We had to find clues which were scripture verses that lead us to the Word Of God which was a top a mountain! Then we looked across and found the clue for The Holy Spirit. It was amazing. THen we had to share with some "lost people" which were staff memebers. It was an awesome time! I am so worn out right now!

Tomorrow is church and then I meet with a few ppl to talk about stuff. Dunno what yet. Should be fun!
Things to pray for: That everyone in our project is heathy and strong. We have had a few accidents so pray for their health
THat we may touch the Vail Valley and spread God's Love
For our leaders, the students, and the Valley in general.

Thanks so much for the support kids!
If you have any prayer requests, send them my way!!

Until Warmer weather!
~Me~

Ive been up to my next working 5 days a week wearin holes in the soles of the shoes on my feet

Yeah....that sums up my week.
Lots of work...but I'm in VAIL!!!! It's great so far.

this is a quick update bc I have been up since 4 50 this morning.

Dad: Is doing really really well!! He will more than likely be going home this weekend. Please keep praying for him and my family. I know we are going to get through this just like we have gotten through everything else. They won't find out if the surgery worked until next week. So pray for that as well.

Me: VAIL IS GREAT! the people are awesome, I have a great job, and its beautiful. God is going to do amazing things! PLease pray for me and m friend steph. We work 8.5 hr days 5 days a week. We get up at 5 ish are at work by 6 30 and dont get out til 3. We usually dont even get back here until 4. It's crazy. I am usually very very worn out by that time. Please pray for us.

Im going to head to bed but I promise there to be more later!

Until Sunny Days!

With a little bit of Faith and Trust and maybe even Pixie Dust

UPDATE:

My dad's surgery went quite well. He is in ICU right now and is talking. That's a very good. My mom is spending a lot of time with him at the hospital. She is so great. She has so much love for my dad. I love them very much. I'll give more updates as I get them but that's really honestly all I know right now.

My first day at work went really well. It was really slow but since its a lodge in a very classy area people tip well and the pay is great. Not to mention the food! OMGOSH! The food is AMAZING! If you are ever in Vail Valley talk to me and I'll let you know where it is. I got to walk to Vail Village today and it was fun! I got to Starbucks just in time before it closed. I felt bad and of course gave them a tip. Then we all hung out and walked back. It helped get my mind of things and just relax. I'm really enjoying my time here. I love everyone who I have met and everyone is so loving here. It's awesome.

I hope all is well. Thanks for the prayers and keep praying!!! If you guys have any prayer requests please let me know!!!

Until Confused Vail Weather....

Did you Feel the mountains tremble?

HELLO FROM VAIL!!!!
I am super excited to get to report from summer project!!! Flying and arriving into Vail Valley was amazing!! The mountains are amazing and they were even Snow Covered!!! Meeting everyone was also exciting! This summer is going to be beyond belief. God is going to do amazing things this summer through us! I am so pumped!

My roommates are great! The girls in my bible study are great!! My community group is great and the whole gang is awesome!!! I love them all and its only the third day!!!

I went for my job today. I will be hostessing and making a nice sum of money to get me by this summer. I get discounts at all stuff in the Beaver Creek Village thingy so I am going to go horseback riding on a mountain trail and rock climb. I am very excited. The peolpe we are working with are nice as well!

We did a lot of interesting things the past few days. Just getting to know the Valley and the people around here. We also visited the Teva Games to share with people a bit. It was a very fun and interesting day. It was also nice to see so many people in the valley.

Also, Vail churchis great! The people there are so nice. I am very excited to work with them this summer.

I am all over the place and very excited to see what God has to do in my life and the life of those around me this summer. If you guys could pray for family and my dad, he gets surgery tomorow, and just keep all of us out here in your prayers that would be awesome!!!

I promise to write more fully and thoughtfully later when I am not so jumpy and excited!

much love,
Me.

Being Happy in today's world counts for nothing

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
he's the reason for the tear drops on my guitar

"I haven't been thinking about us. I needed not to give it not or else I would have given it too much thought."~Lorelai Gilmore

Today I had a fun day at the beach with my parents,aunt, unc, and cousin. It was nice to go and relax for the day especially with everything that is going on in our lives right now. However, what I got was a little more than I needed. The shore house is full of memories from a pretty amazing time i had last summer. And even though I have every reason to hate those memories because they were all pretty much fake, as much as i have the right to hate the person they were with, and I should just forget everything. But how can I forget a time when I was so happy? When waking up wasn't so hard because aside from God, I knew or thought I knew that I meant something to someone. Well down the beach I was happy as happy can be and we had a wonderful time! Star gazing, midnight walking on the beach, the game of Life, watchin the morning appear on the deck with some tea, and just hanging out. I'll admit it, I cried and almost threw up on the way home today. I mean Im not hungry or anything right now. I feel like I felt when I broke up with the kid. And maybe if I didn't break up with him we would still be together and growing in our faith and just being amazing. But then again maybe we would be miserable. I don't know why things happen, but God plans it that way. And the kid doesn't care about me any more so it doesn't really matter what I think about that (he said so himself to me). It just sucks with everything that is goin on.

My dad is sick, he gets operated on when im in vail and who knows the toll its going to take on my family. I won't be here so it will be hard on me.
Me going to Vail is hard in itself. Im going way out of my comfort zone but this is all Gods master plan for me. I'm just following the leader so to speak.

Things will get better, butfor now....my heart goes out to this kid who is super lost and even though he always said he didn't want to grow up like his dad, I see similarities between him and the things he told me about his dad. Like father, like son I guess.

until Vail!

Starry Starry Night

Paint your colors blue and grey

So being at home has been awesome. I made my first months rent on the apt at school in less than 5 days at work. I did work 5 straight days and it is tiring but its ok. I got to see a lot of great people and make some extra cash for the summer and all.

I havent really done too much besides work and yoga. It really takes a lot out of me and I have been tired. However ive pretty much done all my shopping for CO.

Im excited because this is a week where I get to see a whole bunch of my friends.

I promise to write more when I am inspired.... It will be longer... so until then...

Would I be Out of Line

If I said, I miss You?

So today I drove home from college to end my soph school year. It was quite the journey. I cried a bit. I am happy to be home, but I am so sad to leave. Because I am going across the country I will not be able to spend time with people I have grown close to over this past school year.

Yesterday was perhaps the hardest day of my life. I had to say a final goodbye to my big and the first person I ever met in Thespians. It was really upsetting. I also had to say goodbye to everyone for the summer knowing that they all still had a week with each other. I wish I could be with them right now but with my dad being sick and everything its just nice to be back home, even if I do have to sleep on the couch. I love being home and its good for me. I do miss everyone, but its good to be home.

Ohana means family. No body left behind or forgotten. I now know what that means. My thespian family is amazing. I could not ask for a better group of people to spend my college days with. Not just my thespian family, but the thespians in general make an amazing family. I know I would not be in school if it wasn't for them. We have our hard times but for the most part they are great. I just want the world to know that.

I must get back to my paper now....oh life.

Later Dayz.

These will be the times we miss

Johnny says: Why can't it stay like this?

And I sure do love these crazy summer nights. When we all get together. Days that I'll remember all my life. Yeah they seem to last forever.

Wow. I can't believe I have 2 days of classes left as a sophomore. It's real scary. I am writing this entry to procrastinate my 5 page paper thats due next tuesday. I will get it done. It's just a matter of sitting and typing it all out. I have compiled most of the information I need. However, I need a good grade on it so I'll probably be freaking out like tomorrow or something.

This week has been great! I've had very little work to do so my nights have been amazing. Monday we played all afternoon in the sunshine!!!! Ultimate Frisbee and twister with Thespians is awesome. I really do love those kids so much, they might not know it, but they mean the world to me. I have battle scars from the Ultimate game but it's ok. I went out to the look Out with some amazing kids sunday night after inductions. Good times! We are trying to get a group to go tonight or tomorrow I'm hoping tonight because it will be amazing if the clouds go away but I might just push it back to tomorrow.

The weather has been great here. Hot sunny days. Yesterday it was a hot thunderstorm. It felt so great! Not to mention that it was Amazingly Beautiful. I hope there are some in Vail that we will get to see.

Which reminds me, I have to look for a job in Vail. The ranch hasn't gotten back to me yet so I guess I'll try to work at like Home Depot or something of the sort. Oh and be sure to look out for Vail Updates because I will be doing it as often as I can.

Until Summer!

Hold that Focus Steady!

2 weeks and counting!!!
I can not wait for school to be over. I'm tired of the drama and the school work and everything.

I can't wait for Vail!!!! It's really starting to get exciting. I am seriously going to be out of my element down there.

THis weekend was a ton of fun. Blue and White weekend. I got to see people I haven't seen in a while like Dup and KQ!!!!!!!and T Dogg.

Well this a little short but I have some work I need to get done.

Until Cooler days

Kiss Today Goodbye

Point me toward tomorrow.

So a lot has happened since I last wrote. I went home for Easter and had the time of my life. Whenever I go home and have to go back to school as soon as I pull out of my driveway, I get all teary eyed and sad. I love home so much. I got to see my best friend, my cousin, KJ, and my whole entire family (extended too). It was great~! It made it so hard to leave. My brother decided on a college and it's not where I am. That makes it hard too. Everyone is growing up.

This past Wednesday I went to see Adam Pascal preform and he was amazing! Afterwards I had the chance to meet him and take a picture with him. Totally did that. I LOVED IT!!! He also autographed my ticket. AHHHHH. He's great! His music is great! Love hiM!

Tonight I am going to PBR. For those of you who don't know what that means it is Professional Bull Riding. So I'm going to watch Cowboys get knocked off or see the win. Usually they come out and autograph afterwards. No Idea if that will happen this time, but hey it's worth a shot! I'm really excited cause the Rodeo is a lot of fun. I have been there once before. So I am going to that with a bunch of my friends.

THis weekend is really chill. I have nothing tomorrow so I think i might go see the opera. Sunday I am crewing MasquerAIDS to benefit that AIDS project here.It's going to be great! and Next weekend is Blue and White weekend!!! CANT WAIT!

So I was thinking today, and this is my final thought for the entry, I was thinking how when something bad happens to someone, how everyone starts to pray for them. By everyone I mean everyone and anyone, not just Christians. I was thinking how that's great and all because the power of prayer is amazing, but how many people actually believe in who they are praying to or what they are praying about? How many people only pray in times of need or want? How awesome would it be if those people who only prayed in times of need or want decided to pray everyday for one person in their lives? It's kinda crazy when you think about it.

Anyways, I love you all.
Until Spring Days...

It's a brother and a sister kinda thing

So this weekend was AMAZING! To the cast and crew of Crazy For You...CONGRATS on a SPECTACULAR show!!!! Being backstage was hard for me but a lot of fun. I mean come on I can't argue...I did have a pretty sweet job ;)

I heard only wonderful things.

I spent time with amazing people and met even more amazing people!

Sometimes life is just good like that. Now that things have semi calmed down, I just want to breathe and relax. The weather has been nice but its supposed to snow again this week. That makes me upset. I mean come on people....i want nice weather all the time.

I'm really excited about Co and my possible job ops there. I'm excited that KD is comin with me, but im upset that I won't get to work on SummerStage or be at ArtsFest. However thats life.

Well time to go work on group project stuff.

Until percious moments!

The way your smile just beams...

I am amazed! However it is not the first time.
The show was amazing, cast, crew, music, all!

I have a pretty sweet job too... I get to dress a very nice guy. He says Thank You after everything. Infact this is the first cast that I have worked with that is very undiva and I hope it stays that way. Everything is very appreciative of the work we've done for them, at least thats what it seems. It really is a great thing when people recognize the work you do for them. Espcially if all you want to do is be on stage with them, but you can't.

Show biz is weird like that. If you aren't pretty you usually don't get cast. It really doesn't matter if you can sing or dance. It really doesn't matter if theater is your life, even if you don't major in it. Like me. But at least im a part of it. That's nice too.

To the lovely cast and crew of Crazy For You,
You guys are amazing! I'm really happy I got to work with all of you!!! Much Love for your backstage costumer!

well i Need to apply to the ranch and that summer camp. I might get to teach kids some theater over the summer. IN Vail, CO.

I found out that my computer is going to cost $774.95 plus tax. I called my mom, she called apple, and the cut the price in half. I love that lady!!!!

well im off to bed before I pass out!!!

Until Starry Nights at the Look Out!!!!

Who Could Ask for Anything More?

AHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!!!!!

The show is going great!!! My worries are ok. Tonight all the costumes should be done and it is my first night backstage. It's going to be a lot of fun!!! Tomorrow night I get to sit out and watch the show. It was a request of mine because I have never seen the show in full, just bits and pieces and without costume at rehersal, and I wanted to see it at least once. Last night I was working on costumes in the audience while the show was rehersing cause the orchestra doesnt have enough lights yet so i could see what i was doing. The cast sounds AMAZING! The orchestra is getting there and will hopefully be ready by tonight. Everything else is wonderful!!!! The girls wore their follies costumes last night and I LOVE IT!!!!!

On a lighter note....I am without computer because mine is broken.... it kinda stinks but its all good because life is good and we have a show....it opens THURSDAY!!!!!!!!

well im off to take my 2 tests today

Until 3 story set peices.....

It's like the Hippos in Fantasia

That was how the set for Crazy For You was described by my good friend Fuz today who is playing Zangler.
It's HUGE!!!!!! But it moves gracefully across stage for a HUGE set.
I spent a long time in Schwab today helping build the set, make show girl outfits, and just goofin around. Then we got some good eats at Olive Garden. YUM!

Tomorrow is the day of trial....most of everything needs to be finished and some of the stuff is just not possible right now because we need members of the cast for fittings and such. Hopefully more cast members will show up tomorrow b4 call and if not we will have all cast members for call tomorrow night. I'm really excited for this show. The cast sounds AMAZING and the set looks Fab. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH all u ppl better come see it!!!!

Thats all for now...the show and 4 tests have taken over my life!

Until set pieces that don't fall over....

I'll walk with Grace my Feet and Faith my Eyes

So I really hate breaks. Simply because every time I have to leave home I get upset. That's the one bad thing about college...You have to leave home a lot. For some people that's a good thing, but I love my family and I hate being away from them. We all have so much fun together. It's going to be really hard being in Co this summer.

Thursday night was awesome! TDogg came down and we went to Dave and Busters then went to go see the Flyers Kick Butt!!! Yes the won!! Then we drove back, making sure to stop at Wendy's for a frosty....yummmmmm. Then we had a small dance party at my house with my bro and that was really funny.

Friday we got some crazy Sleet storm but I spent the day with my mom and I did a lot of my homework. My cousin surprised me by coming over and spending the night.

Sat was St. Patrick's Day...What Can I say? I'm full blooded Irish...seriously 100%. We really just kinda chilled until about 6 when we went to go see my Uncle play at this bar. My cousin got carded lol....its ok we were all under 21 and didn't drink. The phrase "I'm with the band" was used a lot. Then we went to see my Grandmom who had some ham and cabbage. I couldn't at any but I hear it was goooood! Then I packed up and headed back to state college.

I was listening to Faith My Eyes as I pulled out of the driveway and I was crying. I really hate leaving home. Oh well, I think I'm going to go home for Easter. My fam would love that.

Well I have some work to take care of. Crazy For You is about to take over my life....starting Tuesday....

Until Spring Flowers...

I've found home, you're my home, stay with me

AHHHHHHHHHHH so today I went to NYC with my cousin and one of our friends. It was fun. First I was in tears cause Beauty and the Beast was sold out and I thought I would never see it on broadway....yeah right. Then we walked around and shopped a bit but I didn't buy anything... I like to save my money. Then we ate at the Stardust.... fAB!!! I was like well lets go see if they do cancellation tix and they DO! so we went to see Beauty and the Beast our seats were 8th row....and to put the cherry on top...JOHN TARTAGLIA was playing Lumiere!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH It was WONDERFUL!!!! N I love John! Its a given cause he's Great!

NYC holds some amazing memories for me. Some that make my life a little bit harder, but it's alright. However, my favorite time in NYC was def the Piazza trip. It was just so much fun and really truly lovely.

It was a great day today with amazing weather. Tomorrow is Flyers Game!!!! Yay!!!!

until sunnier days!

As Long As We're Outta Here

Well home feels like the beach compared to school. It's beautiful here and it's supposed to go to 65 tomorrow. I've been working every day since I came home. Tomorrow is my last day it will be 3 in a row. I'm opening too so I have to get up sooooooooooo early.

Music agreed to meet with me after break and to talk and bring closure. I think it will be good and I pray that God will give me the right words to say and that He opens Music's heart to hear what I have to say. I pray that God brings peace through all of this.

My brother is listening to Enrique Inglesias..... Woah haven't heard that in a long time.

Anyways...I really wish I didn't have to work because I have a stalker. He really is freaking me out. He's like 6 years older than me and he comes into work not just once but 2 times a day when I'm there and sits for like 3hrs with just a coffee. It's scary and I really don't like it. I've told him I'm not interested 4 times. This makes me not want to go to work. Ugh God is the only one who gets me through my days at work.

I'm excited because on Wednesday I'm going to see Beauty and the Beast in NYC with my cousin and one of our friends. It is going to be a lot of fun.
I got PETER PAN!!!!!!! WOO!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie!!!!
Thursday I get to see T-Dogg and we are gonna go to the Flyer's game. It is a very exciting Spring Break!! I also have to send out my support materials.

Well I'm gonna go get ready to go to bed. I have to be up super early tomorrow.

Until Flowers Come....

It was the Darnedest thing....I woke up in a snow globe!

Seriously. It happened today. 4 inches of snow on the ground this morning when I got up and it was still snowing when I went to class. I thought we had seen the last of Mr. Snow but I guess not. One more big thrill. Too bad college doesn't really give you off or a delay. That stinks, cause when it snows like this and becomes -15 degrees out and I walk to class and get frostbite even though I have about 10 layers on.....boy do I miss grade school days.

What I wanted to write down was a little bit that I am adding to my talk about my Baptism if Double A lets me give one at Cru.
As I was walking to class today, I stopped and just looked around. I didn't have my headphones on, so I just listened. It was extremely peaceful. You could almost hear the snow ping as it hit the already snow filled lawn. It was beauty at it's finest. Even more so, it made everything look white and pure. It made everything glow. And how bout that? God does what snow does. He wipes us clean of all our sins and makes us white and pure again. He makes us glow. By accepting Christ, his death and resurrection, we are born again into a new life that is pure and we have the opportunity to glow with the light of Christ. How amazing is that? All this from taking a minute to stop and watch the snow fall and listen to it in the stillness of the morning. Amazingly wonderful.
Just as a side note, it actually snowed during my baptism.

Today was a stressful day, at one point in time my brain turned to jelly. It just stopped working because it was seriously fed up with the stress I was putting on it. I mean that's what it felt like anyway. However, spending a small moment in silence with the Lord made me calm and brought me back to my senses. How wonderful! I had to make lots of big decisions today. I wish they could wait until later. I decided to not crew the School of Theatre show because it will just cause unneeded craziness in my life. I had a quiz that I wasn't fully prepared for. Things for Crazy For You need to get done that aren't getting done. It's just frustrating. But God is the Master of plans and works everything out. PTL!

I must be off to bed now.
Until Spring!

I just want you to know

So today I got baptized. YAY!!! It was great! So many people where there and in spirit too! Thank You to all who made it special.

I also saw Hairspray tonight!!!!! AHHHHHHH it was so good! Link was mmmm. Haha in all it was fantastic!

What this post is really about is how I am feeling right now. Because sometimes I feel like that is what blogs are used for. To let feelings out.. So here goes:
I heard some really discouraging news this weekend concerning someone I care about. I thought this someone was walking with the Lord but I guess not. I thought that the girls in his life were encouraging him to be a man of God, but I guess not. I thought he had good strong Christian men in his life encouraging him to become a man of God, but I guess not. I started to think about things. When we met and while we were friends we really encouraged each other to grow in our faith. When we dated we still encouraged each other and while at times things got out of hand and we strayed, I always came back to my faith. When the opportunity to stray some more came up, he took it and I quit. We went our separate ways and I continued to pray for him every night and his growth in the Lord. If that makes me a bad person I am sorry. However, what seems to be the case to me is that every girl in his life has let him down. What he will never realize is that the one girl who had the courage to tell him that he was no where near the man of God he was striving to be, is the one who has never given up on him and who refuses to give up on him. What he will never realize is that while all the other girls he goes with don't care about who he is or what he does just as long as he is cute and charming, there is one girl who does care about who he is, what he becomes and while there may not be anything in the future for him and this girl, she still cares about him as a brother in Christ and as a best friend. What he will never realize is that he deserves none of this but her heart can not let him become a lost lamb. His smile and his happiness means the world to her and knowing that he could possibly make one mistake that will make him unhappy for the rest of his life, disheartens her.

And while I am discouraged through all of this, I still will not underestimate God. He has given me no reason to doubt Him. I place all my trust in Him and what He has to do. If God's will is for this friend to live the life he is heading for, then that will be accepted. But knowing that God has bigger plans for her friend than he has ever imagined puts a smile on her face, even if he doesn't realize that God is the one in control.

and so sometimes I cry. and sometimes I smile. But the Lord fills me with peace knowing that in some way, He will make things right in the end. In that time, things will be as they have to be.

Until warmer days....

To say im disappointed is an understatement

I just found out really discouraging news. Well not just found out, but last night I found it out. And it makes me really upset. It's like when you think you are getting a surprise birthday party and then it never happens. Well I thought music was walking with the Lord but he wasn't. Now he is thinking about becoming mormon and when I found out my heart literally broke. Well maybe it didn't break but all I know was that it hurt. I really thought the girls in his life that he was running around with would be encouraging him in his walk, but I was wrong. That's what I get for assuming people are good Christians. I thought that the Christian men in his life were encouraging him but they weren't. It hurts.
What hurts the most....all I can do is pray. We don't even talk so the only thing I can do is pray and while I fully believe that God hears each and every word I pray, I sometimes feel like that isn't enough. I wish I could talk to him and encourage him to grow in his faith, after all even during our relationship that's all I wanted for him. Guess that makes me a bad person. Sometimes I just don't know and right now, all I can do is pray and wait for a Christian man who knows him to step up and say something.

until encouraging days.....

What is this thing you call "State's Patty's Day"?

So today is a big excuse for people to get wasted and wear green and pretend to be Irish. All of this because St. Patrick's Day is over Spring Break. Ugh what is this world coming to?

Personally I would love to celebrate St. Patrick's Day at home. I get to see my Uncle play at an Irish Pub and spend it with my Irish Family. I don't drink, infact I usually end u watching the kids. My favorite activity is making Irish Potatoes.

I hate that people use this holiday to drink. I guess that's what its always been for, but its just really annoying. "I'm going to wake up at 4 am and drink the whole entire day." And when you go into a coma, don't call me. Or call me and watch me shake my head at you. What is this world coming to?

These past two days have been interesting. We watched a movie on advertising and the affects it has on women and people and how people are viewed. It seriously made me angry. What makes me even more upset is that people today who are Ad/PR majors are probably not going to make it any different. They are more than likely going to keep adding to it because as Switchfoot says: Sex is currency she sells cars, she sells magazines. grrr.
The talk at Cru last night was AMAZING!! Joel is really interesting actually everyone at Cru is really interesting. Today I listened to Dr. N's talk on 1 Corinthians 13 and I was just in awe. It was really insightful. That's one of the things I love about Cru. The people are GREAT!

Today I woke up at the crack of Dawn to eat with some cool Cru kids. I totally came back and went back to bed though. THen I went about my day as usual and ended napping and not doing work which means I need to get on that tomorrow after my meeting for Baptism. I'm going to Women's Time tonight but I'm not going to the St. Patty's Day party because I don't do big things in small areas. If I go, it will be just to say hi and maybe get some snacks. I think tonight is just going to be a relaxed night. I love those.

Well Im off to read for a bit until Women's Time

P.S. It was 50 degrees today!!!! AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL!!!

Until sweeter days!

I Surf Skittles

Why yes, yes I do. I do surf skittles.
Now that I think about it it...that's not a bad idea.
Today was quite a day!

I got up, went to class, spent time relaxing in the HUB, went to theatre. I met a buddy at Starbucks and we chatted for a long time. I love starbucks and I love that they know me and my order. It's really sweet. Also.... I spent time with my little today. We played Basketball and just had a blast. Iowa played with us and it was sweet to hang out with her. To think she lives upstairs and we hardly ever see each other.

Anyways little blessing such as days spent with great people, like today are just amazing. I have done little work these days. I really should do more work but I think its time for Spring Break. I just can not stand doing work. Tomorrow I will have lots of time to do lots of work.

To say I have not been doing work is an understatement. I have been doing my stuff for my Support for Vail. It's time consuming but I don't mind. I'm really super excited even though its a summer away from home.

As my baptism draws closer, I am becoming extremely excited. I can't wait!!!!!

Life is Good, God is GOOD!!!!
PTL!!!!!!!!!!

Until less snowy days.

Let's Walk

So in light of my amazing two weekends past. I have realized that I have had my times of trouble. Earlier posts that are not so happy. I would delete them, but it takes a long time and well being the busy busy college student that I am, I just don't have that time.

Today was a good day. I had two exams. It was a bit nerve racking. I got through them and did ok, but not as well as I would have liked. This means that I really have to step up and get things done.

So I have gone through everything I need to for Sunday. I meet with the Pastor on Saturday and then Sunday is the big day!!!! I'm excited. My parents seem cool with it and my grandmom was ok with it. I know things have been difficult since I decided that I will be going to Vail this summer but I do have to grow up sometime and I do love her very much. It's going to be just as hard on me to miss the big family vacation. However I need to pick my scripture verse for Sunday. So many have impacted my life I just don't want to pick one. I have to make sure its a good one. haha.

I hope things pick up again soon. I am going to try and do some more volunteer work besides being a Big Sister. I also have TAPS next week for Crazy For You and then finally, Spring Break. Ah good old Spring Break!!! I am also working like crazy on my: He Who Stole My Heart powerpoint/presentation. I hope I get to talk with some high school girls over break that would be really sweet.

well I better go and catch up on some work....or maybe get ahead of my work.
Until Warmer Days!

My chains are gone, I've been set free

My God, My Savior has ransomed me
and like a flood
His mercy rains
Unending Love
Amazing Grace
~Chris Tomlin~

I'm in awe of what God has the power to do in my life. I'm going to be baptized again next Sunday!!!!!! I can hardly contain my excitement!!!!!!!!! I will be able to reaffirm my faith with my friends gathered around me!!! My parents won't be able to make the trip but that's quite alright I guess. I mean I don't know another time I would be able to do it. Of course the bestest won't be able to make it but that's ok. He'll be there in spirit I'm sure. AHHHHHHH I"M PUMPED! GOD IS GOOD PEOPLE GOD IS GOOD!

If You haven't heard the new Switchfoot Album you should. It's great and I love it!!!! YAY SWITCHFOOT!
If You haven't seen the new Bond movie You should. It's good too!!!

I finished my support letter for Vail and hopefully will send it out soon. I have selected the 5 people I am going to pray for during lent. I have also started on the power point for the HE WHO CAPTURED MY HEART presentation. I am hoping to give it during Spring Break but who knows. I might not be able to give it until after I get back from Vail. Either way God will make it happen and I hope to get many high school girls thinking about more than just sex and being perfect. Who knows!

I should go and study but I can't focus. AHHH GOD IS SOOOOOOOO GOOD!

If I gave you my hand

Would you take it and make me the happiest man in the world
if I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you girl.
~Josh Turner~

Loving that man right there. His Bass is BEAUTIFUL!

T-Dogg is sick and not updating so that stinks cause I have nothing to read! haha. Anyways what is going on with me....I have to write a resume and a fundraising letter this weekend. That's crazy I know. On top of that I have a lot of other work to get done AND I REALLY WANT TO SEE CASINO ROYALE!!!! It's playing here this weekend for free and I have to see it.

Tomorrow I have to wake up at the break of dawn to go to Harrisburg with one of my classes for extra credit. The FCC is holding a hearing on media ownership. I think it will be fun! Besides it gets me out of this little old town for a while. After that its CHRIS TOMLIN!!!!!!!!!!!! A night of Praise and Worship with the most amazing girls on this earth!!! That's exciting.

With THON over there's not much for me to do right now. Things will pick up when Crazy For You starts picking up. I'm going to try for lighting or sound for this show. Then in April I am crewing Mother Courage for the School of Theatre!!! YAY my first SOT show!!!Oh yeah and A sweets is in it and I love her cause she's awesome!

Well its late and I have to wake up early so I'm gonna get going.
here is the quote of the day


"A woman doesnt want to be the adventure, she wants to be caught up in something greater than herself." ~From the book "Wild at Heart"

It's true...MEN READ THAT BOOK! and Eric Ludy's God's Gift to Women! They are GREAT books!

until later nights!

And it hit me like a ton of bricks

Today it finally hit me:

I hate someone so much that I love them. Do you ever feel like that?. You absolutely just hate everything and then you're like I don't hate them at all, I love them.

Yeah see I can't hate him because I love him. IT STINKS. This is getting really hard for me. What am I supposed to do? Walk up to him and go, "I'm sorry for loving you?" I mean seriously. Nothing will be as real as this feeling I have.

Drrrr.

Many Hearts, FTK, One Home, Here To Stay!

Well THON is over and done with and it's really sad because I wish I had something else to look forward to.

This weekend was a blast and we did it all FOR THE KIDS!!! We raised over $5.2 Million for the Four Diamonds Fund and the Kids!

Some highlights:
Line Dance!!!! it goes like this:

*starts off with 007 music so sneak around with your hands in gun position pulled to your chest*
then there is a Stretch
1, 2, 3 “BALLIN!”
Thon is the place for me
Welcome to the BJC
Dancing strong for 46
Hey DJ spin that Disc!
F to the T K
For the Kids is what we say
F to the TK
"For The Kids" is what WE say
D to the A
to the NCERS
GO DANCERS!
Globo Gym, in Rec Hall
Watch TV, just don't fall
Creamery, down the block
Nathan's lights what a shock!
WebMail 2 drops the ball
"Creepy" Feed, tells it all
Penn State, super fans
Zombie Nation breaks the stands

Chorus: Roar Lions Roar!
T-H-O-N
THON 2007
FOR THE KIDS!
Loyal to...
White and Blue
Anything is possible...
Dreams Come True!!!

Freshman Class all-time high
Football tickets hard to buy
Puz breaks record with no fear
Connor stays for one more year
Outback Bowl's the place to be!
State's the only ten I see
Women's soccer wins again
You can't touch our lion's den
World Cup takes the stage
Head butt hits front page
Beckham comes to Galaxy
J-Mac can shoot the three
L.T. scores with power!
Say farewell to Coach Cowher
Saints march into town
Gators wear a double crown
Dimonds in the stands
Di-diamonds on the floor
Diamonds are for Hershey
And we've got 4!
J.T. Brings it back
So do Bond and Captain Jack
Samuel L. flies with snakes
Ricky Bobby "Shakes and Bakes"
Cars cruise the street
Dancers move those Happy Feet
(Chours)
Katie Couric, nightly news
Who will fill Bob Barker's shoes?
Bindi Irwin follows Dad
Crikey - he'd be so glad
Democrats paint house blue
First female speaker too
Science lead us down wrong route
Planet Pluto gets the boot

Everybody grab your can!
(7 claps)
And shake your money maker!!!
(Stretch break) Up in the gym just working on my fitness
(Chorus)
Dancin' all on the floor
Until we find a cure
Jersey Boys, Broadway fame
Gotta - Getcha head in the game
Trump and Rosie fight some more
Britney shows K-Fed the door
Stretch pants, Skinny jeans
Don't get mad, don't be mean

(Dance break)

We stand behind their courage
And wisdom at great length
We learn from their honesty
And celebrate their strength
Many Hearts
FTK
One Home
Here to stay
THON 07 rockin' out!
On our feet stand and shout!
Our diamonds are forever
With pride we stand together
Fight on state!

playing with the kids
SLIDES OF STRENGTH!
being crazy with my friends
the many people who came on the floor to visit us
THE BLUE BAND SHOWED UP!!!
GREEN WINNING COLOR WARS
The Last Four Hours

I can go on forever. I had a blast. Staying on your feet and awake for 46 hrs isnt as hard as it sounds. Today everyone kept asking me how I was doing and I kept sayin "I'm ready to do another 46 BRING IT ON!" haha.

Thanks for everyone who came up to support me and the other dancers!!!!!!

It was weird this weekend I'm not going to lie. There were times when I just wished for support that wasn't there. I wanted to cross the line a few times and hope that it was there. I hate the fact that everything is just a show for his friends or at least that's how I feel because everytime he remotely acknowledges me it's with a group of people there. It makes me mad that he is "confused" and if he was where he said he was a while ago he would know where God is taking him or least have a sense. I thought he would grow more once he got up to school after being home for so long away from people who encouraged him, but I was wrong. I realize that God may not have anything planned for us and this is fine. I just need God to tell me that Himself or show me that Himself because until He says so, I will always believe that where my heart is leading me, is the place I'm supposed to be. It stinks waiting around for someone who doesn't give a left arm about you but what can you do? Hope that maybe the next time you take a big step they are there to support you with everything they have , to love you for it, or whatever. Sometimes life is just that way.

So I guess the next thing I have to look forward to is Vail, Co this summer. Well, so far he has no idea I'm going there and probably won't find out or care. Why would he care since he's going home to his precious angel? Ah well sometimes things are just like that.

until later days
FTK