I Keep Giving In But I Should Know Better

I'm so stupid. Some brilliant people put it into my head that I could ask a guy out and how could he say no.
Well ta da! THe no was said in a very nice way. But still. I am wounded. It kinda hurts. I dunno.

It's weird because I hate asking guys out. It's everything I stand against. However, I saw Enchanted and Disney put a twist on things and then my friends were like "see..." so I tried it.
I should just listen to myself. It would only have gone wrong and it did. I hope things aren't weird. I would like to stay friends with this person. I hope we will.

Anyways...I guess God is trying to tell me to shut my brain up and start listening to him. So here are the lyrics to a song that I have found as a help for that.

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

~Come Home Running~ Chris Tomlin

until unbroken hearts....

~me~

WHAT IS GOING ON?
All of a sudden I found myself freaking out today. I was super stressed for no reason. I mean I have no work due tomorrow, but I do have a lot of work due in the next few weeks. I have gotten a good lead on all of those projects but I am going canning this weekend so maybe I feel like I am losing time. I have no idea. Its just bad I guess. But then I calmed down. haha

I visited this site for class globalvoicesonline.org and I came upon this really upsetting video about how Japanese fishermen are slaughtering dolphins. It was really graphic and not what I wanted to see. Then Hayden Panettire showed up. I she was like crying for them (she surfs just like me! haha sry that's my Heroes obsession getting the best of me). That part made me laugh a little but the rest I was like ready to cry. Ugh why do people have to be so mean. Dolphins are the most peaceful creatures for the most part. Not to mention that they are beautiful.

Today I have a lot to do. I want to work more on the stuff I have due but I can't. I might be able to for like an hour, but I probably won't because I'm lazy sometimes. I have to go get fleece for my little's Christmas gift. Then I have to get posterboard for the posters for this weekend. Then I have to print out pictures to put on the posters and then go see my little. Hopefully we can put the posters together. I dunno. Then I have Cru and then a top secret meeting for next weekend! Yay for inductions into Thespians! Love it!

Maybe that's why I'm stressed?
I spilled coffee all over my bookbag today in starbucks.....man its just that kind of day. I smelt really sweet all day lol.

Until less messy days....
me

Tomorrow is a brighter day

Hey!!

So the tests came back negative!!! It was scary to go alone, but I survived and I am very healthy! I feel so blessed.

Thanksgiving was AMAZING!!! My family and friends OH how I LOVE them! I am constantly amazed by them. The musical at my high school was beyond words. I was in awe! I love those kids as well!

I am just full of love! It's great to be back! 3 weeks til Christmas Break!

We are inducting new members into Thespians this semester and that's fun! We have communion for them, which is not like church. It's a lot more fuN! I'm really excited.

I have no insightful thoughts today. Just that my arm hurts a little because a nail went into my wrist last night. Not too far, but still scary. Just missed a vein which would have been fun! haha no.

Until Snowy Days (of which have yet to appear)

~Me

One day at a time

I'm scared.
Tomorrow is scary.
Tomorrow I go for a check up and I get to ask questions.
I'm scared.

Things are not right in my body. I'm all out of whack. Bruises won't heal and I'm weak, a lot. I'm worried.

Finding strength is hard. Finding peace is easy. Trusting that things will be ok is easy.

I have my theatre friends, the ones who know care a lot. They've gotten me through the semester without worry. Loving hugs and smiles. They can see through me. They know I'm terrified to find out. Even if I am fine, its still scary.

The one thing I am fighting to find a cure for, is what I might have. And then what?

Lord,
I am scared. Please be by my side. I know you will be. Comfort me oh Lord.


I am scared.