Making Plans

In the hustle and bustle of going from my sister's prom to my graduation and coming home to get my life in order, I forgot about plans.

Now that I am finally settled down, with some cleaning left to do, I am ready to make plans for the future. However, I was reading today and this quote fluttered across the page:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

It was then that I realized that I need to not make plans. I need to prepare and trust that the Lord's plans for me are greater than anything that I can imagine. I have a general idea of where I am being led but I can tell you that I am very scared. I am excited that the Lord is pulling on certain strings but I am super scared.

I love trust. Trusting the Lord. It doesn't mean that you have to be brave every second. It simply means that you are able to be brave long enough to know that you are doing the right thing. Trust is an important value. If you can't Trust someone, what kind of value does that put on your relationship with them.

I learned a lot about trust when I was in Vail, Colorado with Campus Crusade for Christ. It was during one specific moment did I finally know why God had placed me halfway across the country from home and into the high mountains. I had issues with trust and men. I had been hurt by too many. Also, I was very hurt by a few men of God, or those who called themselves such. So I found myself unable to trust men, all men, with the exception of my dad and the Lord above. While on Project, I met Ben. Ben has been such an important person in my walk with Christ and my life. Ben was a member of my small group on project. We had shared a lot with our small groups and so Ben knew that my asthma and out-of-shapeness would be of an issue with me. Also, I have a very small fear of new things, though I was excited to try them, I was petrified at the same time.
One Saturday we participated in The Amazing Race: Vail style. This included swimming, biking, and hiking. We had to answer questions as well. It was very hard, but my team Ben and Jeremy's *like the Ice Cream Ben and Jerry's haha* pulled me through. Ben and my friend Terrin were a big part of our finishing. Ben hiked all the way up a ski slope with me in tow while our team ran ahead to answer the question.
The next day, our small group with caving *I can't spell spalunking?* This was an awesome adventure and Ben was there once again to help me! After making our way through the cave, reaching the perfect place to turn off our headlamps and singing some worship *which sounded beautiful with the acoustics*, we turned to go back. Since I was taking it slow, Ben and my leader Joanna stayed behind to help me out. There was this one part that would have been horrible is you slipped and fell in the gap between the rocks. Ben went over and promised to help me over. But I sort of had this trust issue with men and promises. Even after everything Ben had done for me in the days before, I could not trust him enough to risk my life/health. To make a really long story short, it took about 10 minutes, lots of tears, Jo yelling at me, lots of prayers, Ben's begging me to trust him, and God's Amazing Grace to get me past that one point. From that point on, it was smooth sailing and we weren't in any rush. Ben and Jo climbed some scary looking ropes that we found in the cave and then we finally made our way out. Ben, with the help of Joanna and our gracious God, helped me regain my trust in men.

Recently Ben and I started talking again (as in we lost touch and got back in touch). So if you are reading this Ben, I still talk about that day all the time. You are very important to me. I have also been led to make some travel plans this summer and I would love to go see Ben and just catch up. A vacation either alone or with one other person. I don't know where that vacation will be or when it will be, I just know that it needs to happen in order for me to figure out my life. I would love to visit my friends from Vail in a road trip across the country or go across the ocean to visit friends in Europe.

So the point of all this: Trust! I am trusting the Lord to lead me to where I am supposed to be. I am trusting that the Resumes I send out fall into the right hands and that job I have is the Job in which I will most grow both mentally and spiritually. I am simply trusting.

I Vote GLEE, Best Show!

So I just watched GLEE with about half of America. I am simply at a loss for words. GLEE was AMAZING! Of course FOX will make us wait until September to see this show. They are some smart cookies those people at FOX. Since the ratings drop with 24 this past season, FOX needed something to stir up its audiences. Why not combine Musical Theatre and TV? But wait! We will premiere the show at the end of the Spring TV season and use it as a kick off to SWEEPS in the fall! They really are some very smart cookies! They also want YOU to tell YOUR friends to check out the first episode of GLEE all summer long on FOX.com.
So why did I like GLEE? Here are a few reasons:
GLEE puts everything I could never have into a show. My school never had a show choir, however, that was the one thing I’ve always wanted to be a part of. Because I never had experience in a show choir I was too chicken to join one in College, even though I know most of the people in it *Shout out to those SINGING LIONS!*, I still couldn’t do it. I think it’s the one thing I regret. I would love to go back to my high school now and start one. I would need some help though, but I know I’d be able to find it. I was never really a jock and I never really fit in anywhere. I can relate a lot of the characters of Rachel and Mr. Schuester. I feel like an outsider a lot. However, I find absolute joy and I am most happy when I am preforming. GLEE has many definitions, but it mostly means joy or happiness. So this show is perfect for that.
It relates at a wide audience. This is not a show that is going to bring in Women between the ages of 18-49, which is the demographic most sitcoms seem to be going towards these days. This is a show that is going to draw teenagers, college kids, and adults together. This is a show that is going to bring together not only the theatre lovers but people who love to watch a good sitcom.
SHOW TUNES! OK so maybe there aren’t going to be too many show tunes. But the fact that there are musical theatre artists in the show and scheduled to guest star on the show, I am extremely PUMPED! Finally, everyone will be able to get a taste of what I love about performing arts! Show tunes are goofy, but that doesn’t mean the people who sing them are. Well, I consider myself goofy, but if you look at the people in the performing arts lifestyle, most of them are doing it because they are passionate about it. Some are doing it because it’s all they have ever known, and that’s ok too. But the majority of performers perform because its what makes them happy, it is their passion. When was the last time you did something that you were extremely passionate about? I’m serious. If you are passionate about math and you love accounting…do it! Don’t just settle for the first thing that comes your way and makes you miserable. It’s a lot like a relationship. Hey! I think GLEE is going somewhere with this…
But I won’t spoil the show for everyone. I will simply suggest that you head on over to FOX.com/GLEE and watch the first episode and decide for yourself.
Meanwhile, the rest of us will be pulling our hair out in anticipation for the fall season of GLEE!

"Believe that Dreams come true everyday...because they do."

~One Tree Hill Season 6 Finale Ending.
Of course I bawled my eyes out....because that is the statement that I live by. Dreams Come True Everyday...because they do. Not just in Disney but everywhere....everyday. I'm still working for my dreams to come true...one of them is to get married some day. Which leads to the rest of this post...

I also just finished watching My Fake Fiance..... I should not do this to myself. Tears once more. yay! I get to watch all my friends get married or engaged and I'm still single. It's ok that I'm single because I'd rather be single than be dating the wrong person. But sometimes I just get tired of waiting. I mean who exactly do I go with to these weddings? It would feel weird to go alone. Maybe I should hire a wedding date...like in the movie The Wedding Date. Maybe we will fall in love? haha. Only in the movies.

All of this talk about finding love and everything just puts me in the pits sometimes. I mean when I finally find myself content with the single life, love appears all around me.
My brother and his girlfriend are happily in love. My best friend and my other friend are happily in love.
I thought my parents hated each other. But on sunday on a travel from one grad party to another they were laughing like they were best friends, something I haven't seen them do in a really long time. I just sort of knew that they were still in love. Like that song Lucky.

I guess it would be ok if I wasn't hurt so much this year. If I wasn't sick of being lied to by men who should know better. I'm 22, just graduated from college, and I am the Grace to every Will out there. I just want one guy to be nice, know what he wants in a relationship, and treat me with respect. Sometimes I get tired of being Grace. Don't get me wrong. I love all the Wills in my life. They are amazing men and I wouldn't ask any of them to change for the world, but it's hard sometimes.

So this is what I do to myself. I spend my days working out and watching everyone around me fall in love and I wait. I am waiting very patiently and if that makes me a loser that is fine. I don't find parties satisfying, I'd rather stay in with a good book and hot cocoa. I love picnics and the finer, smaller things in life. So I'll sit here and wait until some guy comes along who finds the smaller things in life amazing. Who enjoys watching old Disney movies and laughing at nothing. Who will go on walks with me around the neighborhood and talk. Because even though I've had two relationships with jerks, I've found that the times we were most happy was when we were enjoying the small things in life.

Why settle for less? After all, men will never be men if we settle for jerks.

Sorry men. I love you and all...but your majority make you look horrible. Yes, women have their bad sides too, but from a woman's perspective, men are the worst.