Here's Where I stand, Here's who I am

I hate being challenged by other people. I am usually always up to the challenge. But last night my confidence was challenged. I hate that! and now I am feeling blah about myself. Seriously people? Good thing I am going to work today! Those people are so much fun!

Update on work and Disney in General. It's fun! I love my work because I love the people I work with and I love putting smiles on people's faces. They don't always listen to me and sometimes they get angry about me stopping them or directing them a certain way, but they don't understand that it's for their safety. The parade could run them over or they could fall and get hurt. It doesn't matter if a parent is watching them or whatever, they could get hurt and it's my job to say: Don't do that you'll get hurt.

I work at Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular and it's a lot of fun. I've been working long hours but that will change this week because they cut back on my hours. That's fine, I could use a chill week. If I need to I can pick up shifts from other people or some other shifts.

I think that's it. I have to get my confidence back up. It might happen today, it might not. I'll def get it up tomorrow after work. I only work until 2 so I can go to the gym or something. Who knows. I have to go get ready for work and such.

Peace, Love, and Pixie Dust

ITS HERE!!!!

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

A LITTLE BIT LONGER!!!

GET IT!!

Not Much Longer...

Crazy Kevin Jonas right before their First Sold Out MSG show!!1

JONAS BROTHERS

A LITTLE BIT LONGER

INSTORES>>>>> TOMORROW!!!!


GO GET IT!!! NOW!

All this time goes by, still no reason why

A Little Bit Longer and I'll be fine
Waitin on the cure
But none of them are sure
A little bit longer and I'll be fine

~Nick Jonas~ A Little Bit Longer

So I'm different than Nick Jonas of course, but having a chronic illness just stinks. Having to take medications every day....it's not fun. Yesterday I had a really rough day. All I wanted to do was sing and my lungs would not allow me to. I was really congested and it was really frustrating. Talking was a chore. I hated it. But I've been learning more about asthma and allergies and how I can be an ambassador of my illness too. Most days I am perfectly fine. But I have my lows. Days were I can't talk, where I'm too congested to exercise, headaches that keep me on the couch, and so on. I can take all the meds I want, use all the creams they tell me to *exzema is popular with asthma*, and do whatever it takes to get better, but just sitting here feeling bad for myself is not a good way to spend my life. Why did it take a 15 year old boy and his two older brothers to show me that?

So I'll wait Til Kingdom Come
All the highs and lows are gone
a little bit longer and I'll be fine

I wrote my own little song called Rough Todays. I don't think the song will ever get anywhere but hey, who knows. I'm not pushing for it though. I have other things on my mind. So lets talk about them and the blessings I have in my life.

Today I had a very hyper day! Who knew getting up at 6 to go to work would make someone so hyper! I was singing and dancing. I was modeling the new clothes I bought for Disney and the clothes I made for the Renn Faire! It was awesome! I am still hyper but I'm winding down. I had a GREAT DAY! Trying to be more cheerful and positive is making such a difference!

A huge blessing I have found in my life is found in music. The Jonas Brothers to be exact and their family *including team Jonas* Who knew three boys with a great family and amazing team members could be so inspiring! I wasn't a huge Jonas fan at first, but then something happened. I don't know what it was...Camp Rock or Play My Music....something sparked a Jonas mania in me and I have been hooked on what I like to call "Lovebug Jonas" ever since. Thanks to MTV I have been IV hooked to the life of the Jonas Brothers and was able to see the beautiful Kevin *my personal guitar hero* wake up this morning...he's a typical 20 year old boy, "Oh good....Please Go Away." I followed them from last night all the way up until their show tonight at Madison Square Gardens in NYC. Love you boys and rock MSG this weekend!!!
Hit up www.jonasbrothers.com www.changeforthechildren.com or nickssimplewins.com to be inspired by these beautiful young men.

Another huge blessing is my family! They are being so supportive of my going to Disney for a semester. I was really worried. I hate leaving my family. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I love my family and I have a need to be near them. However, when God opened this door for me, I said yes and I am so excited! This is an incredible opportunity. I am thankful for my family for being my family and supporting me through this. I get to spend one full week with them before taking off on Saturday morning *12am* for Florida, starting my program on Monday, taking a day to myself on Sunday.

Two of my great friends! Well three... Sarah and Ben. I love you guys. Without you I don't know what I would do!!! Even though Sarah and I had our first big fight.... we are still bffs. She's great and Ben just is amazing as well! Thanks guys!!! I'm really going to miss you! Another friend who was a great blessing this summer popped out from the past this May. Mr.Magic has graduated HS and is pursuing his career as a Magician. I am so very proud of him! We have spent a lot of time together this summer doing things like: Me and his lil sis of 7 singing HSM kareoke, dinners after my internship, The PA Renn Faire *celtic fling*, and working on a juggling routine to some Disney song. We toss email back and forth talking about everything. What a great friend! He sees through everything!

Tomorrow Mr. Magic and I are heading to the pa renn Faire. I am going to be a pirate! I made half of my costume myself! It is very exciting. maybe I'll post pictures but there will probably be a vlog about it so check out You Tube! We will be entertaining others with our talents and just being crazy at a sweet place!

Well thats all for now. Omgosh I am getting so excited!!!

Update on Life

I know I haven't updated in a while...I've been busy.

My life has been crazy so here is an update:

I am now a part of the Street Team for these three Handsome Young Men.....and probably one of the oldest members...



I made that ^^^


I am working on a cigar box routine that promises to be as cool as a scat cat.

I am just about packed and ready to ship out for Disney in 8 days!!!!!

Tomorrow I will officially be done with my internship...YAY!!!

I still haven't seen Bailey perform in Legally Blonde but I am hoping to get there next wednesday!

I have found/ made a costume for the Renn Faire which opens this weekend and I am happy to be going with a good friend of mine.
a
I think that's all. If more exciting news comes up...I'll be sure to post it.. In the meantime

Voting for Burnin' Up for a VMA starts tomorrow...DO IT!
A Little Bit Longer comes out August 12th GET IT!
The Burnin' Up Tour is coming to a city near you... SEE IT!

mucho love!

GO GET IT!

PRE ORDER IT!!! It Promises to be good!

Theatre Survey

REAL NAME: Lauren Mary Keenan

STAGE NAME: Lauren Keenan

LAST SHOW YOU ADDED TO YOUR RESUME: Jekyll and Hyde the musical

LAST SHOW YOU AUDITIONED FOR: Jekyll and Hyde the Musical

WERE YOU CAST?: No originally no, but after a few boo boos I was.

LAST SONG YOU USED AT AN AUDITION: "You Must Love Me" from Evita

THE NAME OF YOUR NEWEST SHOW FRIEND(S): So Many! Liz, Disney Dave, Jimmy, Mary, Ross, and more!

FAVORITE THEATRE (VENUE): PSU: Schwab, NYC: The Palace Theatre, Philly: Academy of Music

ACTOR,DANCER,SINGER, LIST ACCORDING TO YOU: Singing, acting, then dancing

FAVORITE PLAY(S): Spring Awakening, A Streetcar Named Desire

FAVORITE MUSICAL(S): Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, Jekyll and Hyde, Legally Blonde the Musical

FAVORITE ROLE YOU'VE PLAYED & FROM WHAT SHOW: D.W. in Arthur a Children's show, Lead Juggler #1 in Barnum, rich lady in Jekyll and Hyde

DREAM ROLE(S): Ensemble in Legally Blonde the musical, Lucy in Jekyll and Hyde, Anything in Godspell, Rusty in Footloose

NAME A THEATRE SUPERSTITION: "Break a leg"

LAST PART YOU PLAYED IN A SHOW: Rich lady in Jekyll and Hyde

ARE YOU EQUITY OR NON-EQUITY: Non-Equity

YOUR GOAL IN SHOW BUSINESS: To make people smile and forget their troubles for a while. To take audiences to another world. To be the best I can be while learning and growing continually.

FAVORITE DIRECTOR: Marge Campbell. On Broadway: Jerry Mitchell

FAVORITE CHOREOGRAPHER: Holly Gombita and Theo Lenicki

WHAT WAS YOUR VERY FIRST SHOW: The Wizard of Oz * a remake*

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DANCE SOLO: No.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SINGING SOLO: Yep.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BOW: No

NAME A SHOW YOU'VE DONE MORE THAN ONCE: Godspell

HAVE YOU BEEN TO NEW YORK: YES!

HAVE YOU BEEN TO LA: No

SCARIEST PART OF AN AUDITION: Waiting to for the list to go up

BEST PART OF AN AUDITION: Getting a chance to prove yourself

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN: Rocky Horror

NAME A SHOW YOU COULD DO FOR YEARS: Godspell

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO DO BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN IN: Footloose/Godspell

A PREVIOUS DREAMROLE THAT YOU'VE SINCE GOTTEN TO PLAY: D.W. in Arthur a Children's show ~ PLaying a kid is so much fun!

NAME A PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO WORK WITH AGAIN: Marge Campbell and  Theo Lenicki

WHAT ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR NEXT: A role in Disney and Joseph in the Spring

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PERFORMING: Since 5th Grade so 10 years

DO YOU CARRY YOUR HEADSHOTS AROUND WITH YOU: No

DO YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PAST CAST MEMBERS: You betcha!

ON A SCALE OF 1-10 HOW IMPORTANT IS GETTING PAID:  1.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE PERFORMANCE: Being lead Juggler in Barnum. I was able to grow a lot and get over a lot of fears (Ie. Falling off the stage while juggling)

WHAT'S SOMETHING EMBARRASSING OR UNEXPECTED THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE
ON STAGE: I unexpectedly almost fell backwards off the stairs during a performance of Jekyll and Hyde. My healwas a few inches off the back of the step and I slightly lost balance. It was a bit noticeable. 

WHO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON (ON STAGE OR OFF)?
People who act like they know exactly what they are doing when they honestly don't know what they are doing.

EVER BEEN NAKED ON STAGE?: no

WHO OR WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INSPIRATION OR INFLUENCE? Currently it is Jon Groff because I wrote to him expressing my appreciation for his art and how inspiring his performance was and he hand wrote me a letter back. After that I'd say Actors who are normal and not stuck up. People who do what they do because they love to do it. Walt Disney, most of the Penn State Thespians, Joshua Beblo, and more!

IF YOU COULD BE A RICH FAMOUS PORN STAR OR A STRUGGLING THEATRE ACTOR
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Struggling theatre actor. It's what I love to do.

ONSTAGE, HAVE YOU EVER…
a) Been killed? No
b) Been drunk / stoned? No.
c) Played someone half your age? YES!
d) Played someone twice your age? no

e) Played someone of the opposite sex? yes.
f) Cried? yes
g) Fired a gun? No
h) Driven a car? No.
i) Been drenched? no.
j) Been in a dream sequence? no.

k) Kissed someone? yes.

"Cause Tonight I'm gonna fall for you again"

So the wedding was ok....

  It was hard being the only one without a date, especially at Busch Gardens because everyone had a partner to ride the rides with and I was always in a row by myself. The only exception was on the Griffon because you could fit 9 people in a row. Ugh.

Since the wedding things have been good. I met up with my good friend Magic man a few times and we had a blast. Hanging out with him is always a good time. We talk and relax and get to know each other even more than we already do. This summer has been great getting to know him. He has matured so much and has been a lot more open then in the past. I feel like for the first time we understand each other as friends. We joke around and stuff. It's good. I know he doesn't like me, but he's a wonderful guy and it's so hard for me to keep my "lets just be friends" face  on. He's a sweetie. Actually, he is helping me put together a cigar box routine. This is great because I need to work on performing as much as possible. I'm a new performer and I'm just getting my feet wet. It's going to take some time before I feel comfortable walking up to people and juggling in their faces. I'll get there though. I think Magic man has faith in me and I have some faith in myself, apparently that helps a lot too.

I'm at the beach right now watching the sunset. It's beautiful and I might go for a walk up the street just to watch it and relax a bit. Life is beautiful down here. The waves make wonderful music the skies shine off the water. Everything is relaxed, except with my family things can get out of control sometimes. But it's nice. It's nice not to have to worry about the internship or anything else. I love relaxing. It's peaceful and comforting.

Until later

~Me

But It's cool Cause We're just Friends

Part of the chorus from Just Friends by the Jonas Brothers. I love that song.

I'm dedicating this part of the song to My Cousin Ryan and his fiance Katie, they are getting married this weekend. Here is the part I am sending out to them:

Thinkin about how

we're gonna say our vows

it's cool we're just friends

As she walks down the isle

I see all my friends smile

Cause Now we're more than friends

A little bit about this wedding... since it's in North Carolina, my family is using it as an excuse to road trip so that we can catch up with some old family friends on the way. So my mom, brother, sister, and I are jumping in the car and heading there at 4 am tomorrow. Wait, I forgot to mention my brother's girlfriend and my sister's boyfriend and my....oh wait that's right I don't have a date. This is more so because I don't have a boyfriend, even though he would really come in handy right now. I'm not bitter, I'm just frustrated. I know I am going to be left out of a bunch of stuff and dancing isn't going to be fun alone. I know I know, meet someone there and dance with them...but it's not the same. That slow song comes on and who do I get to dance with...no one. This is my first wedding as a grown up and well....it sucks to go alone. 

So here's the game plan. We are leaving at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow and driving to VA beach. After that we are heading to a friend of ours who lives in VA and staying over. Thursday we are going to Busch Gardens and to add salt to the wound, both of the daughters of this friend are bringing their boyfriends. Gee Golly Gosh I am going to have a blast. We are staying for the fireworks at Busch Gardens then heading to NC for the wedding. Friday we are going to chill maybe with my uncle but more so just as a family and the sig others, and Saturday is the wedding.

I wish I had a date and to be honest I could have just asked a guy friend. But it's not the same. It stinks to be going this alone, but I guess that's life. I think it would be different if there were friends of mine who were going to be there and are single too....but there aren't. I am going this alone and it stinks. It stinks a lot.

So say some prayers for me. I hope to have fun, but at the same time I want that:

Everyone knows it's meant to be

falling in love just you and me

and

Hello Beautiful

How's it going?

Some thoughts on Jo Bros songs?

Ok so the countdown is dwindling. Only 51 days until I arrive in Disney to start my College Program. I am driving down and leaving on the 15th so I can give myself plenty of time. I am a littler nervous.

Anyway....

I have been listening to the Brothers called Jonas....aka The Jonas Brothers aka Jo Bros a lot lately cause I have to clean my room and while I like singing musicals, the Jo Bros have been songs to dance to. Here are a list of my favs in no particular order.

Just Friends

Games

When You Look Me In The Eyes

Burnin' Up * THE NEW ONE!!!*

PLAY MY MUSIC

Hello Beautiful

That's Just the Way We Roll

Please Be Mine

6 Minutes

Hold On

I probably have more but I just don't know it yet. Some of my fav lines from these songs are as follows because they mean something to me.

"When you love someone and they break your heart; don't give up on love, Have faith, restart and Hold On." ~ Hold On

"Cause I could comb across the world, see everything and never be satisfied. If I couldn't see those eyes." ~ Hello Beautiful

"I just want to play my music all night long" ~Play my music

"Everyone knows it's meant to be. Falling in love just you and me. Til the end of time, til I'm on her mind. It'll happen. I've been making lots of plans like a picket fence and a rose garden. I just keep on dreaming. But it's cool cause we're just friends." ~Just Friends

"I'll be there forever. You'll see that it's better. All our hopes and our dreams will come true. I will not disappoint you. I'll be right there for you 'til the end. The end of time. Please be mine." ~ Please Be mine

Of course all my favorites are the love songs but I can't help it. Remember I am the hopeless romantic. *sigh* Great band, great guys. Maybe one day I can meet them and tell them that they seem really down to earth and really funny.  Who Knows.

my Jo Bro confession...

Yeah...I finally confessed after about a month of being hooked on the Jo Bros.

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

I am writing a BOOK!!!!

I know you all are super excited!!! I am going to begin writing as soon as I finish this post and do my nightly exercise. 

What the book is going to be about is a secret but it's something that I care deeply about, besides theatre.

I am super excited about this book and while it may take a while to get through the process, I am sure gonna stick through it.

Encouragement is welcome!

Summer, Summer, Summer

Well schools are almost all out and it's summer.

Job Update: I still don't have one. This means, I'm probably not getting one. Seriously. It's stupid. I'm getting beat out by high school kids because I am not staying in the area. 

I'm sorry I stink at posting. Nothing interesting is happening. I don't have a job. I'm not going on vacations. No day trips.

Really all I have been doing is; reading, juggling, singing, and interning. I have such an exciting life. At least once August hits I'll be in Disney mode. I'm already excited to get there and start. This whole internship on Thursdays and Fridays stinks. It's alright though. 

I promise to write more interesting things when they happen.

Heat and No Breath

I am sure most of you, wherever you may be, are experiencing this heat wave. This crazy crazy heat wave. Well I am in this heat. My family is and our lovely air conditioner broke. My poor puppy is panting like there is no tomorrow. I feel bad for him. There is no cool place in our house for him to go. My mom is going to put the air in her room on tonight, but 4 of us will not fit in the room. 

It is almost 100 degrees in the philly suburb and if our air doesn't get fixed I'm not sure what will happen.  Tomorrow is going to be hell and I hope that my puppy is ok while we are all out. I'll be at work along with my mom and bro. My sis at school. 

I WANT COOL NIGHTS WITH NO HUMIDITY!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!

sorry gang just had to vent. Off goes the computer.

Stealing Cinderella

I'm in that mood again. You know, the one you get in after reading about Mr. Darcy, Galas, Knights in Shining Armor and the like. Sometimes my minds drifts to these places. What it would be like to marry a guy who takes you to galas and shows you off. A guy who is arrogant at first but upon realizing his love for you decides he is going to change. A sweet guy riding in to save the day and risk his life for your love. One of the things that catches me about the whole Mr. Darcy thing is that Elizabeth didn't even like him. I mean, who would at first, but even after he makes his change, she turns him down. I mean seriously? Does that kind of stuff drive a man?

I was thinking about what it would be like to go to a formal event. You know one where you had to wear a gown and the gent wears a tux and there is champagne and such. Then my head went into Disney song mode and I thought: "He'll whisper 'I love you' and steal a kiss or two. Though he's far away, I'll find my love some day. Some day when my dreams come true."

Then my head went: "Omgosh, my dreams are coming true. I am working for Disney. Does this mean that possibly I will find him! The One! ahhhh" But it's all in my head right?

I'm still on the search, though I am being more subtle about it. I only wish that guys would take more advice from classic novel characters then they would the men around them. If a guy modeled himself around Mr. Darcy, the world would be different. *sigh*

I'm not getting any younger. I know that I am still young, but when your friends start getting engaged and the number of boyfriends you have had you can count on one hand, you start to think that maybe he's not out there. Doubt is part of human nature. However, Trusting God that He will send the right guy at the right time, is what I need to do. 

I remember thinking that I had found that guy once. I was wrong. I wasn't super wrong, but I was wrong. Now, even though we are okay, things are weird. I never told him I thought he was the one. I mean that would be even weirder. But on occasions, my mind likes to wander off to what it would be like if we ever were married.

I'm a girl it's my nature.

Anyways the reason I titled this as such is because of a song my brother put in the back of his girlfriend's scrapbook he made for her graduation.

it's called Stealing Cinderella by Chuck Wicks. Here are the lyrics. Check em out and let me know what you think.

I came to see her daddy for a sit down man to man

It wasn't any secret I'd be asking for her hand

I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself

with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf

Chorus:

She was playing cinderella

she was riding her first bike

bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight

running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin

dancing with her dad, looking up at him

in her eyes I'm Prince Charming

but to him I'm just some fella

riding in and stealing Cinderella

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one

when I heard a voice behind me say "Now ain't she something, son?"

I said "Yes, she's quite the woman" and he just stared at me

Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

Playing Cinderella

riding her first bike

bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight

running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin

dancing with her dad, looking up at him

in her eyes I'm Prince Charming

but to him I'm just some fella

riding in and stealing Cinderella

He slapped me on the shoulder

then he called her in the room

when she threw her arms around him

that's when I could see it too

She was playing Cinderella

riding her first bike

bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight

running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin

dancing with her dad, looking up at him

if he gives me a hard time

I can't blame the fella

I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

anyways that's all for now.

iJob

So Apple has their little i"insert fun phrase here" thingies. 

I applied at the Apple store and got an interview. It's not a smart thing to get me started on this interview but to tell the story short: I had an interview, the lady never showed, there were mix communication between the workers and the lady who was supposed to interview me, some guy interviewed me, I am so in the dark right now.

I don't think that my interview was a good one. I'm nervous. I really need a job and Apple pays well. I am also going to call the hotel that has been trying to get me in for an interview for like three weeks. It's not my fault your staff isn't there in the beginning of the week when I have three days available. Gosh people.

I NEED TO WORK!!! I can't afford not to. College nickels and dimes you and I am very poor right now. As opposed to all the other kids who never had to work a day in their lovely lives to survive, I have had to work almost every day. This includes while being a full time high school and college student. 

Summer job hunting is hard. No one wants seasonal. I'm praying for a good job. Even if I have to miss all the important things in my life this summer. That would be 1 wedding (not mine) and one week of family vacation.

SOMEONE, ANYONE, I NEED A JOB!!!!!

Sunday Drivers: Why do you drive so slow?

Yesterday my mom woke me up at the ungodly hour of 8:15 am to meet her and my dad for breakfast. Yum. I looked like I was hungover, though I can promise you I wasn't, and for the first time in a long time I wore my glasses in the morning. I could see better but I still looked horrible. I really didn't get much sleep saturday night. Graduation parties leave me too sugared up.
After breakfast my mom and I headed out to some sales in Lancaster, but in order to get there we had to be stuck behind Sunday Drivers.

Now, Sunday Drivers have a right to drive slow. That's fine, take your time. It's Sunday why should you rush? The Lord gave us this "day of rest" and so we should Rest and relax and use it to not do work. However, Sunday drivers should be considerate of other drivers. If you are going 10 under the speed limit, please get off the road. Seriously. If you can't accelerate your car to the speed limit of a bypass, get off the road. That's all I have to say to you.

As I have already mentioned I was at some graduation parties. Friday: 2 grad parties of which I drank some beer that didn't make me too happy in the morning when I got up for work at 5 am. Lovely. Saturday: One grad party of which I skipped the beer, but didn't eat dinner at because...well I was allergic to everything that was there. Sunday: My bro's gf's graduation party. Prolly the best one of the weekend. I had one beer (I really don't like beer that much) and a ton of food and sweets. Then I fell asleep by the pool. It was great. Her family is really nice and all so it was cool and we knew some ppl there.

Next week I have a grad party for a really good friend of mine who I am going through a rough patch with. It's all part of his growing up and getting out there experience. I guess he isn't going to college, which is fine he needs to do what he loves. He loves magic, but it stinks because he is going to leave everything behind to chase this dream. When I first met him, I could tell that he loved his family much. When I look at him now, I almost feel as if he feels they are holding him back. They are so supportive of him and they all love and care for him very much, he is just pulling away. I care about him a lot and want what's best for him and I want him to follow his heart and his dreams, but I am so worried about him. We don't talk much any more because my words are useless to him (I have said that I feel this way to him and he says that he doesn't mean to make me feel that way), but he does. However, I will always be there for him. Now he's one of those people who tell you that you don't need to get them anything. But I got him something small and he'll enjoy it.

I was working on some juggling tricks today. Let's just say, I'm glad my nails are short, and my fingers are in a lot of pain. My forearms are going to be black and blue tomorrow as well. I want/need to get some tricks down before I work on a full routine and that worries me because the stuff I am doing is not all that easy. I know in time, I will get it. However, it's going to take a lot of work and probably give me a lot of pain in the process. I guess that's my life.

In terms of the other performing I am doing, I have been practicing my vocals every day. I see a difference in the way I sing some songs. I think Mere would be proud of my practicing and improving. Also, I have been playing my guitar more often. Dance comes when I have time to devote to it (which right now is little) and acting is something I like to work on everyday. Sometimes I pretend I am different people just for the heck of it.

I am still thinking of some special features to add to this Blog. I might do a Performer Spotlight each week or something. That might be pretty cool.
Anyways That's all for today.

Hope you guys like the new colors and all
~Me

Marley and Me

So last night I went out for a few drinks with my friend. We realized that they were shooting the film Marley and Me in West Chester and so after we had our drinks we went walking in town. We were almost part of the movie! But of course they didn't want us to walk across the street and be a par of the scene. It was a lot of fun though. We were able to see them drive a car out and then park it again. We also were able to walk behind the shoot and look at the trucks and stuff. We didn't go inside or anything, but we were able to see a lot and I figured out that I think that is what I want to do. If I can't entertain I want to be a part of helping to make the entertainment happen.

Other things that have happened:

Internship is going well. We do a lot and on slow days we get to hang out and learn from the producers. It is a lot of fun now that I switched to the days that have less people. I get to do more with the producers and a lot more work and I feel more useful.

I still can't find a job that pays. How the heck am I supposed to make money. I am helping a lady out that has a company and is a friend of the family but I don't know that she will have work for me all summer.

I will have a new vlog coming up. I will also have some other fun new things coming to this blog.

Tell your friends!
~ME

I do do sadness

I know this happened a week ago....but I am still getting over it and I can't believe I didn't get to see them again before they headed off stage.

Jon Groff and Lea Michele exited Spring Awakening May 18th 2008. I just watched a You Tube video of their final curtain call and the speeches they gave. Lea Michele could barely speak she was bawling. Jon was trying to comfort her and silently wave until she was ready to talk. They walked out in true style holding hands and of course Jon kissed her hand as they made their final exit. I hope at some point in the future they come back to reprise their roles. I have a feeling Spring Awakening may have a long following like RENT. Personally, I would have slept in a tent for three days outside of the Eugene O'Neill theatre to get tickets to their final performance. I love those guys and I've only seen them perform once. They are truly amazing in their roles. The way they created them and fulfilled them was out of pure love for what they are doing.

To think that they are going to be replaced is hard. I guess when John Gallagher Jr. left it wasn't too big a deal since it was pretty early on in the show still. But these two...such crucial parts of the show itself and how it came to life. I also didn't get to see JGJ perform so I might have a small bias towards the other two and Mr. Banshoff who was wonderful as MOritz.

I don't think their replacement is a big deal but who they are being replaced with is. I mean the new Melchior is some Canadian rock singer or something like that. I mean seriously? The new Wendla should be good because well, she's been studying Wendla for a long time.

Ugh. To Lea and Jon, I've only seen you perform once, but your heart and soul convinced me well enough that choosing to be a Spring Awakening fan before seeing the show was the right move. To be in love with the script, music, and talent that was chosen to create and form Spring Awakening as we know it is an honor. I personally love you guys and wish that you didn't have to go. I want you to come back so I can see you do it again. I promise to give the new kids a chance, but seriously....please come back. You guys are amazing.

A Fan
~Me

A Mr. Darcy kind of afternoon

So yesterday I was driving home from Target to get the first Narnia movie.
I had to take a detour because a tree branch or something that the road was closed. However, I late found out it was because they are filming the movie Marley and Me at a house out there and the road was blocked. I was pretty much guessing on where to go. I ended up by the new high school which is surrounded by empty old farm fields. There are tress scattered throughout them and the grass is now patchy with high and low spots. There was a mist coming off the field from the rain that had falling that day and the sun was setting quite beautifully. It was then that i smiled. I thought of the scene in Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Darcy walks across the field, hair messy and meets Lizzy who is walking and thinking at sunrise. What a beautiful scene and just the thought of it made me smile.
I know things like that don't happen any more, but I wish they did. THere would be reason for me to hope that there a good guys out there. Even though Mr. Darcy wasn't all good. Still he was romantic and well who doesn't want a romantic who dedicates himself to you in the end?

My internship is going well. Its a great company and I enjoy working there. It doesn't pay so I am in the process of finding another job. It sucks. I am working part time for this lady who has her own company off and on but it's not good enough. The diner hasn't scheduled me and I am currently in contact with a restaurant at a nearby hotel so I hope I get something there. I really don't mind devoting my summer to work. With work and juggling mixed with a bit of reading, I think this summer has potential.

Only 80 something more days til Disney!!! I am so excited!

Well that's all for now
Mucho Love
~Me~

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

So we vacationed in Atlantis this past week. Its on Paradise Island in the bahamas. It was a lot of fun.

Some highlights:
Swimming with the Dolphins
Meeting Chad Michael Murray
Eating in the same restaurant as Julia Roberts while she was there eating
The water slides
Beautiful weather
and more.....

It was a great vacation! There was so much to see and do. I felt like a rock star staying in the best hotel....even though it was very very pricey. We all had a great time and it was great to be just with my family and no one else...

it was a ton of fun!!

SURPRISE!!!!

Another vlog from me....enjoy it!

What I Did For Love...

So I might have used this title for another post but I thought this appropriate.

Today was a good day for me. Despite the stress of packing an apartment, putting together a picnic, and leaving, I found an overwhelming sense of peace in these last few hours of the night. I think this is why...

For so long I have struggling to find a place in Thespians. Everyone has their friends and I just kinda fit in where I fit in. But today I found out something special about me. While other people may throw around the word Love when it comes to friends, I mean it. I would not be where I am today without the thespians. I wouldn't even be here at school.

You see I simply love the thespians. I mean that. No matter how many hours I put into things that might not go as perfectly as planned, the shows I don't get casted in or assigned production staff for, etc. I simply just love them. Thespians is about love. Love of theatre, art, performing, and so on. SO why can't we love each other?

I was sitting down after finishing grilling for everyone today and I just talked with two of my fave Thespians. J Beb. and Andy. I love these guys. J Beb is amazing and very wise, and Andy is my godbig who takes care of me because my big moved to Cali. I was sitting there relaxing and not playing the massive game of Frisbee and I just thought....wow I love these guys. They are so wise and so caring and they care about the club so much and that is what I want to be like. It doesn't matter if I hold positions. It just matters that I love what I do and who I do it with.

So now, even if people frustrate me and act like I don't exist or what I have to say is simply not important, I will simply love them. Because Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Thespians, if you are reading this...I love you guys. Thanks for everything, good and bad. You all mean the world to me and I am going to miss you terribly in FL.

~Me

A Good Bye

So you guys know that I am going to the Disney College Program in the Fall. Today was my last day of classes and tomorrow I will be seeing a few people, going to a picnic, and finishing packing before leaving for home on Saturday morning.
It's quite sad to think I will miss some people's graduations and such. I will also miss out on the fall musicals and Cru gang.
So I started my Vlog for Disney and decided to keep it up through the summer and then continue it through Disney. Ill post it on here with regular posts too.

Lately I have been obsessed with Disney's On the Record. It was a musical revue but they harmonized like all different Disney songs. It's amazing...I suggest it!

Anyways..here we go...




ok mucho love guys
me

Sports Season

It's that time of year again. Where my two favorite sports collide.

Philadelphia Flyers are in the Stanley Cup Play Offs...2nd round. Staying in strong and I am so very proud of them!! Even though they get blacked out a lot here at school, I am able to listen on the radio or get score updates via my brother texting me. I love this time of year, especially when we do good. We are playing very well this season even though the beginning was very shaky.

Philadelphia Phillies are just beginning their season and they have had a pretty good April season. They are on a nice little winning streak and I hope that it continues. I think we have a great team with lots of potential. Even so...the Phils, like the Flyers, are my boys and will always be my boys. I hope they continue to do well.

I love Philly sports. It's true what they say....Philly Sports Fans are die hard fans whether or not their teams win or lose. I am a very strong Philly Sports fan because I grew up outside of Philly and they have always been my boys. It has taken them a while, and yes the do choke...but they will always be my boys.

Right now I am watching the Phils on TV but listening to the FLyers on the radio.... life is good.

Your Friend In Thespis...

So today is a wonderful day!
You'll have to forgive me if I go astray, I only got 3 hrs of sleep last night because we were busy hanging out with our Pledges.

15 of the most wonderful, caring, and energetic people I know.
They will be Inducted into Thespians today and I will finally be able to call them Friends in Thespis.

I am so EXCITED!

These guys have worked their butt off this semester. Some of them have taken on huge leadership positions and have proven themselves to be extremely capable of handling this club. My little is amongst them and I am so very very proud of her. She has worked extremely hard this semester and has plans to continue to invest in the club.

That is something that I think we need. People who are going to invest in the club and make it something more than it already is today. Because right now I feel as if we have gone in decline since my freshman year. I love the Thespians and those that have made my ride with them worthwhile, I thank you! But it hasn't been easy and we have a long way to go. There are issues we just can't ignore any more. I am excited because today we get to pick the new leadership for next year. Even though I will be missing the first half of the year and graduating the second half, I feel as if this new leadership has potential. Those who have been nominated are bright and have big ideas for this club. I only wish that I could be nominated again for something, but since I won't be here...that would be hard.

Today is going to be an amazing day and I looking forward to calling 15 more people my Friends in Thespis by the end of it.

You all should be proud of yourselves. I know I am extremely proud of you all!

Love
Me~

We've been waiting for an hour...you said it would be 30 minutes.

So my cousin came to visit me this weekend. Nice break from the crazy world of my life. We had a very nice weekend...kinda.

My aunt gave us $100 for food this weekend. I barely eat out...which is to say that I barely eat anything at all. I don't have time, yet somehow I am still on the hefty side. Anyways, The first place we went to was Applebee's. A nice place usually tasty. Well we got our fave app. Queso dip with chips. The Queso was like hard as a rock...we just kinda stared at it. haha.

The next day we went to the all famous Waffle Shop for some tasty breakfast before we headed up to the Stadium for the again famous Blue and White Game (which was boring as per usual). The place was packed, so it was understandable if the service was not so great. But the service seemed exceptionally off. I'm a waitress at a diner that gets really busy like this place. I know when service is bad.
Later we decided to hit up Chili's for dinner. Good Idea we think. There is only two of us so the wait shouldn't be horrible. We were so wrong. We put our name in and said First available. They told us 30 min maybe 45 at the most. So we sit no more than a foot from the hostess stand. We wait. and wait. and wait. As we are waiting we see people literally walk in and get seated. We understand about call ahead seating but this was getting bad. So after an hour of waiting we go up and ask what's up. They said they either called us and we missed it...oh, or they skipped us. WTH? We were sitting right there and we def would have heard them call us. They seat us, cause we were mad. We sit at a way dirty table that hasn't even been wiped. the waitress we got was really nice and really good. But when my food came it was on a plate that was already dirty (it looked like there was bbq sauce or something on it that didnt come off in the dishwasher. Ugh it was bad. We left our waitress a really good tip though.

I guess it was just a string of bad restaurant luck.

Great weekend with my cousin though...very chill. There's too much drama here. I think I created some. Anyways I can't wait to leave this place. A great summer with my fam and an internship...still have to find a paying job. Then Disney in the Fall and Graduation in the Spring. Life is good. The only thing I am going to miss is theatre. Because that's the only reason why I stay here.

When I threatened to quit the club this year my friend asked what I would do. I said, "I don't know. If I quit Thespians I would want to leave Penn State. I can't leave Penn State because i have a year left...so I guess I'm not quitting."


Life. Is. Rough. But we can't afford to play it safe by wearing a helmet.

"Spring Awakening: Causing Sexual Tension In Audiences Everywhere"

I am just going to fawn over Spring Awakening a little more. I have had some thoughts on it these past couple days....things I didn't mention perviously I guess.

I think my title should be a headline for the show. I mean seriously though, and maybe this only happened to me, but it makes you want to go out, find a sweet, good looking guy and just kiss him. Besides making you feel awkward and somehow, free at the same time, this show has a lot to offer.

I was thinking about certain characters:

Wendla: In the original play, it opens with Wendla's 14th birthday. The musical doesn't yet this play is focused on how the kids are too young to know what is going on with them. I think it is an important thing to leave out. There is no mention of age at all in the musical....we know they are in school, that's it. Strangely enough, when Lea Michele was cast as Wendla, she was 14 years old. She was cast when it was in workshop. Woah. She does a great job at playing Wendla, she has a soft, childish, almost innocent voice. In the play we get a sense the Wendla is a female version of Melchior, but not so education driven. She is curious and wanting. She needs to learn, she wants to understand. In the musical....we get that, but to a much lesser degree. However, we do see that she is a lot like Melchior in wanting to learn things and this is something that might attract Melchior to her.

Moritz: Probably one of the best characters in the show. I really felt like Blake knew what he was getting into. Maybe he really was that kid who wasn't the brightest in the class, who tried but just couldn't focus, who got picked on, or maybe he wasn't. I don't know how John Gallagher Jr. played Moritz, but I know Blake did a great job. To put that much into a character and to really know or at least make the audience really feel what is happening. It was great. Mad props Blake!!

Melchior: I loved how we saw this character develop. In the play it's laid out for us. We understand that he understands but at the same time he is so confused. We know his parent's stance on things is more relaxed then the others. We know he is smart, charming, and the girls love him. The musical helps us see this even more. The songs Melchior sings, are ones that show struggle and angst and even though he is not like Moritz in wanting to die for it, he wants it to change. He doesn't know how, but he wants it to change. His journal, the prop (there are no props in the play written at least), adds so much to that character. Wendla getting a hold of it and having a purpose to find him in the barn and give it to him, makes the audience go...what is going to happen? We see Melchior throw two fits of rage and we understand why. In terms of the character of Melchior, the musical and the play are very similar...except at the end. I will not ruin the end for anyone so I won't make mention of it here. John Groff....I give you props. A character like this requires a lot and you were extremely believable.

Those being the three main characters that I wish to explore, I have nothing else really to say. Perhaps I will see it again before Michele and Groff leave and have more to comment. Perhaps I will see it again after the leave and have even more to say. I laughed and I cried. I was touched to the core. It was amazingly beautiful. This is a broadway show that screams to the world. I want to scream to the world to see it. We need to understand, we need to know, we need to learn, and most importantly the world needs to let us grow.

My thoughts.

My name is Kiiira.... Oh I believe

So yesterday my stress and hard work paid off. Well sort of. People still managed to piss me off over this New York trip by not telling me they weren't going and then when I called to ask if they were so I could have a final head count they said no...so now the club has to pay more money that we don't have. But oh well.

I was able to see two shows and eat at the Jekyll and Hyde Club...after eating there for the third time, I realize it's time to find some place new...so that's my next trip's quest, find a new place to eat.

I was able to see two shows: Xanadu and Spring Awakening

Xanadu

WOW. Ok so when I first heard about this show I was think, "What stupid idiot would write something like that and put it on broadway?" Then I saw it....first of all Kerry Butler was perfect for the role and so was Chyenne Jackson. No only was the show funny, but the music was great. Two of us saw the show in the afternoon and then a group of people saw it at night. Alex and I understood the story quite well...the people who saw it at night were like, "I don't know what the story was about but there were 40 disco balls at the end." A lot goes on during the show and I think you have to pay very close attention to understand it all. However, I thought it was a really good show and I'm not saying that because I like ELO.

Spring Awakening

I understand that hype. It's a GREAT show. Lea Michelle and John Groff did a great job and props to Blake who filled his role to wonderful expectations, having to follow Johnny Gallagher Jr was a tough gig. I had read the play by Wedkin this past semester and had to do an analysis on it for class. I know the story pretty well and therefore I had some what higher expectations. While the musical is very different from the play, I think they did a good job at following the story and pulling the key points. I just wished they developed it a little more. Especially Moritz. I mean we get a good picture of why Moritz does what he does and it helps, but I think that there is more we need to understand. The relationship between Wendla and Melchior was well played. Very well played. I think those who have seen the musical without reading the play were impacted. I mean I was impacted but because i knew the story i was hit really hard. I cried, I didn't find things very funny (they tried to make it a bit funny).

Set and Lighting and Staging. WELL DONE! The set was simple and there were barely any props. I believe this relates back to Wedkin's lack of stage direction in his original work. What is the purpose of this? Why no stage direction or props? Well I'm not sure if this is what Wedkin was going for but this is a show that you need to rely on the actor's to provide the message, it requires them to put more thought and emotion into what they are doing. They need to make us feel. The message of the actor has the potential to be really strong. The lighting was amazing. Great job. There were times I felt like I was at concert, but that's ok. The lighting seemed to say, here are the actors singing, listen to them, they have a story to tell that may affect your life, LISTEN TO THEM. The backdrop that "disappeared" to look like bricks were removed like a world was falling apart. Great effect. The staging was EXTREMELY well done. To have everyone on stage, to use the apron of the stage, to have audience members sitting on stage, and more. It was all great! I think one thing that grabbed my attention is the "audience members who sang" . *Edit thanks to Erica..see comments* Cast members are seemingly modern kids, not dressed like the others, with mics who sing in all ensemble numbers. I saw this as an attempt to say...This is their story, but look...It is still happening today. It could happen to you, look at the world around you, question it.

All in all I really enjoyed Spring Awakening. I have had the Cd since the summer and the musical is fantastic....but the show is eye opening. I hope others were able to get out of it all that I did.

Other than that, I had a few drinks, hopped on the bus, and slept most of the way home. I had a great time with friends. I didn't get to stage door but that's ok because they were doing Broadway Cares stuff and that's why I didn't stage door, I'm really glad they do Broadway Cares, because it is so important.

The day was great, warm with no rain. Simply fantastic and I was able to enjoy myself....even if i was stressed out about it.

Until beautiful spring days
~Me

She Should Get It Through Her Head...

I saw the touring cast of Evita tonight here at good old school...

I must say the show was good. Modernized, but good. They need to get rid of the projector screen....it served no purposed and pissed me off. Besides that the casting was good. Che was amazing What is Evita without Che? Nothing. The Waltz between Eva and Che (my fave number) Lived up to and surpassed my expectations. It was good. Something else I didn't like...they cut songs and then changed who sang some of the songs...I was like YOU CAN'T DO THAT...but apparently they can.

Lighting and set design was good....the mural that served as a curtain was very effective. I was hooked from the moment I walked into the theatre. The Lighting...Amazing. Mad Props to the lighting designer...I bet they took a ton of pictures during photo call...do they even have photo call in professional theatre? They must.


That's really all I have to say on the topic of Evita. So why did I title my entry such?

Well....I've been down for about a week. A bout with depression as I like to call it. Post-show depression. Since there are no rehearsals to go to, no crazy cast mates to deal with, I am lonely. In fact tonight was the first night I went out all week. Another thing is...I am having an extremely difficult week.

At this point in my college career I should be doing a lot of things. I should be interning, looking for jobs, making sure my grades are in check. I should not being going to Disney World for a semester. But I am. I am because I need a break. As much as it will kill me to be away from my family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, I will have to. I hate it. I'm going to miss a thespian Barn Show and a Mainstage. What they are, I have no idea yet. I'm going there alone, no friends or family. So why should I feel this way now?

Well there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Pressure from dad to get an internship (got one) and a job (still working on such) for the summer to make some money. Pressure from mom which is really from dad. Grandfather being sick again. Trying to keep up with school work. Planning the new york trip and so on. I have also lost another good guy friend and I think that it might just be me pushing guys away with the things I do. I need to feel secure and comforted. I'm sorry.

I feel like a nobody. I feel like I don't matter. I want to feel differently, but I don't and it hurts. I want someone to care and it doesn't seem like anyone does. I'm lost...and no matter how many times Michael Buble tells me "Babe you're not lost" I don't believe him.

So where do I go from here?
I just pray things will be ok.

Until then... me

"I've missed you before I met you."

CONGRATS TO MY BEAUTIFUL CAST AND CREW!!!! WONDERFUL JOB THIS WEEKEND!!!!

I love this group so much that I was the only one who cried at ceremonies when it was my turn to talk. I mean everyone loves everyone...I just get emotional.

Not going to lie director man surprised me when he got up and started ranting about us...oh and he did. He told us at the end that he was proud of us...but he ranted. It was odd.

I'm super proud of my cast because they were amazing. Mr. Peduzzi I admire you so much..simply a freshman with so much talent. You jumped into Jekyll's part with only 4 weeks to learn it and we love you for how amazing you were. Not to mention that you are beautiful and every time you did confrontation I melted a little.

The rest of my cast....LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!! Jimmy..I do not appreciate the Act II break nerf gun death of myself...but thanks for the memories. Rich Bitches...I love you and Court that dress is so perfect for your wedding day haha jus playin. Whores....well we never really liked you anyway. Just kidding you all were amazing and I love you. Meredythe I don't think anyone could have pulled of that red outfit but you! Sexy! To the rest of the men in the cast...what can I say? I enjoyed your dressing room more than the girl's dressing room....duh. You guys are beautiful! Shields... sing "those bastards hold the reigns" to me any day and I will have your children.

haha Well there I go proclaiming my love to you all as per usual...I did get the "Hot Tranny Mess" paper plate award... duh!

So SO SOOOOO Proud....

and here's another thing to boost Mr. Ross' ego a little more. A whole article on how much Sta Fed LOVES him.


To my Crew...You were amazing!!!!!! Couldn't have done it without you.


To everyone: Here's to Late Night Tech Week after parties at McDonalds, Huge games of Apples to Apples where AIDS loses to the KKK, Shamrock Shakes, "Do You", Goose warm ups, and asking every day..."What is really behind the facade?"

Love you guys!!!!
SO EXCITED TO HEAD TO NYC WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!

~Me~

Tonight I'll plunder heaven blind steal from all the gods

It's a dangerous game we play here.

Jekyll opened last night and it was amazing. THere was a pretty good sized audience and we did a good job at freaking people out. TO be honest Ross had never sounded better.

I'm really proud of this cast and crew. We had some really hard times and we pulled this off wonderfully. I mean the original Jekyll quit halfway through the rehearsal process...seriously?

We all hit up McDonalds last night after the show because we were so hyper. Thank God for Shamrock Shakes! I love hanging out with these kids and after this weekend...I dunno what's gonna happen.

THe pics above are:
Ross as Jekyll/Hyde in confrontation
Ross and Alex during Utterson find Hyde in the Lab
and Meredythe and Ross during Lucy's Death.

We have 3 more shows and it's going to be great!

Until I discover what really is behind the facade...

Some Jekyll Pics for ya'all

Our set in construction, but amazing!


A Little Bit of Bring on the Men




Ross(Jekyll) with the Board of Govorners... lovin it.





Some cast members stretching

These were taken Pre-Tech... I'm sure there will be more this week... The show is coming together really well. They have me with a mic...I'm scared shitless. I've never had to wear one before and now the world will know if i mess up. Here's to not messing up!

Jekyll Tech Week Begins....

So we have started.
This is what my weekend looked like....

Friday: Career Fair and Interview with a production company 10-230 pm
Dinner and relaxation 3-5
Load-In 5:15- 11:30pm

Saturday: Load In 9am-5pm
Laundry and movies 5:30-2am

Sunday (today): Wake up and relax with starbucks: 12- 5pm
TECH WEEK BEGINS 5:30-11:30/12

And for the rest of the week we will be teching as well as classes and homework.

We go up on Thursday.

Usually it's not a big deal. It's Penn State Thespians 110th anniversary so we have about 95 alumni coming back this weekend. They will be seeing the show closing night (saturday) as a group. But I'm sure they will be seeing the show a few times. This is a HUGE deal.

So this is what we did all weekend. Painted, built, put together, hung, crawled, and more.
This weekend I screwed my hand. Well ok that sounds wrong, but what I mean to say is that I was in the process of taking out screws from these tables and in that process the drill slipped and then it went into my hand. It was a pretty little mark. I also had to crawl under wet, painted, burlap to put down tarp. It was grand.

I did a lot with the set. Friday night was fun...saturday was more fun. I really love that stuff.

I also was able to be the guinea pig for climbing the set and making sure it was sturdy...i love that lol.


HERE'S TO THE NIGHT! and looking behind the facade. Talk to you soon!

~Me~

Why I love Rehearsal

Tonight Rehearsal kicked my butt. I gave way too much energy and I had none. But I loved it anyway. Here's a recap of my favorite moments from Rehearsal today and yesterday:

Sunday:

Jekyll/Hyde (Ross) *on his knees*: ...and now I'm turning into Jekyll. (as if giving the cast a play by play)

A scene between Jekyll/Hyde and Utterson:

Utterson proceeds to give his line
Jekyll/Hyde: Not now John I'm trying to turn back into Jekyll, let me pull my hair back.

Leaving as the musical director was coming back in.... and not getting called back to rehearsal!

Monday:

Accent Coach....enough said. She was the BEST EVER!!! We had so much fun!

Running Murder, Murder until 11:25....pm.

Ross (Jekyll/Hyde) looking at Liz and freaking her out so much that she cowered behind him.

Bring on the men with the lights down...best ever! Oh and without Chairs.

There are so many reasons why I love going to rehearsal. Despite the fact that they are long, sometimes boring, hard, sweaty, and a killer to the voice after a while, they are great. We have so much fun and Ross is totally a creepy Jekyll. He's nothing short of amazing though.

The next two weeks are what I like to call Hell Weeks. Most people have one and that is Tech Week. I have two because I have TAPS week. Theatre Arts and Production Studio week is when we build our sets. Since most of the cast is not in THespians they really don't know much about this nor do they care what kind of work goes into it (grrr makes me angry). However, me and a bunch of other people will spend hours each day until Friday building, painting, and moving set pieces. on Friday we will build/paint/move until 4pm at which point we will then load everything from TAPS into trucks and move it into Schwab. We will make the set stationary, finish paitning and touch ups...hang lights, finish props and what not. WE will spend our ENTIRE WEEKEND IN SCHWAB!!! Sleeping there, eating there, whatever...we do it. On Sunday we focus for the second time and then we are set to go for the first Dress also known as Tech 1. We have 3 Tech's and an INvited Dress, also known as a Gypsy Run Through. then it's show time. Right after our final performance, we say Hi to our guests, change and then Strike the set. Then we have ceremonies and finally.... we have a party.

It's going to be a blast, but it also means, no sleep, no life, and hard work. But I don't think I would miss it for the world, nor would I spend this time with any other people.

I'll write when I can and post some pictures I took today at rehearsal later.

Its well past midnight and i have an 8am class across campus tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Until then
~Me~

Why do you look for the living among the dead?

So going to church today felt so good. I mean I have been so busy it's been a while since i've been to church.

So Jesus is risen today!! YAY!!!

It's kind of exciting. I mean the whole thought that someone died to save you and enable you to have eternal life. It's sweet.
Anyways I'm wishing you all a great Easter. I hope you enjoy it and can spend it with your family and friends.

I'm missing my family like woah. None of my roommates are here, we probably would just fight anyway. But I'm alone on Easter and I just kind wish that there was something I could do today besides a meeting and rehearsal.

Anyway PTL!!!

The Prop Shop In Schwab

Also known as my home.
Freshman year I was assistant props master. THE FALL of my freshman year. I spent HOURS in the basement of Schwab in the Prop Shop. It has been through a LOT! Mess, columns, fire hazard warnings, etc. When I was Props Master for FOOTLOOSE, it was Hell trying to find stuff in there. Not to mention really freaky when you are in there alone. The basement of Schwab is haunted and well I try not to go down alone.

Anyways. Today was SCHWAB CLEAN OUT!!! WOOT! The third one this year. FINALLY we got to the prop shop and after taking EVERYTHING...literally EVERYTHING out, it looks BEAUTIFUL!!! So clean, so organized. I had the nice job of taking stock of everything...we have a bunch of stuff. It's pretty sweet. It's also really nice to say stuff like "yeah I made that flashing staff for Into the Woods out of wood, a camera flash and cloth." Oh yeah. It's home to a bunch of beautiful, memorable objects that we just don't have the heart to throw away. For example, an HMS Pinafore life circle thinger. It's fun!

However I left clean out early because I had to finish editing my Veterns History Project for my Comm Field Production class. Ugh, I HATE editing, but it's going to be a job that gets me something to live off of until I can prove myself in the theatre world.

I'm supposed to do the Disney College Program in the fall, I'm waiting to be accepted. If I do, I'll have a good shot at being able to work for ABC or ESPN. It'll be great! haha

Sometimes College wears me out. I couldn't go home for Easter. I have rehearsal for J and H at 7 tomorrow. Not to mention that we have a club meeting at 6. I would have had to be back here by 5 to settle in and eat and everything. It just wasn't happening. But I do have the apartment to myself, I just miss the fam and the Big Family dinner they will have tomorrow with the grents, cousins, and all. Most of all I'll miss the kids. My little cousins are growing up and they don't even know who I am. It's so hard. I mean Kevy knows who I am. We have this kind of bond because I was the first cousin he saw in the hospital after waking up. For some reason he loves hanging out with me. We have movie hang outs, he doesn't like to call them dates haha, and he loves me to babysit when I'm around. But he's growing up and he barely knows me. Ugh I wish I was home more. What can you do? This is my life. Away from home but home is so much a part of me.


Off to practice vocals and dance...yes it's 20 of 10 at night. So Much Fun!

Inspiring Those with Dreams

So I posted this on a Forum that I'm in for Legally Blonde. Some girls were asking about Broadway Dreams and I feel like people always give the wrong impression about this. So Here's what I responded with.

Ok so I just read the main post so I'll respond to that and hopefully help some of ya'all out.

I have two dreams. The first is working at or for Disney. The other is working on Broadway. For a long time I have dreamed of performing on Broadway and I have been working towards it but I know my chances are slim. However, If I do get a chance to audition, I will. I was told by my acting teacher that I should go to Grad school for acting.

I'm a Junior in college. I have a year left. I am a Telecomunications major which works on production stuff for movies, radio, and TV. However, theatre is my passion and I have picked up a theatre minor and have been working with the Thespian group here since my Freshman year, earning Props Master my 2nd semester. After a ton of practice I landed my first ensemble role this semester (6th one) ( I go to school with a TON of talented people). I'm going to Disney in the Fall for the Disney College Program and hope to learn some "Entertainment" aka Theatre stuff down there.

My dream to be on broadway has changed. While I do want to go to Graduate school, I think it will be for Arts Management. I want to be a Production Assistant or work behind the scenes. However, I will go to auditions and put myself out there. You never know when an off-Broadway production or a smaller theatre company might need talent. You can work your way up. At least I can say I've performed in NY that way right? I would love to be in a touring company. Infact my friends are laughing at me because i have been telling them how much I want to be in the Touring Company of Legally Blonde. If I hear of an audition or find a way to get there, I'm going to get there.

Rule Number One: Don't let anyone tell you can't do it. You'll never know unless you try. Remember, Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars.

I think a lot of performers don't realize what they are doing when they perform. A lot of stagehands and so forth don't understand either. Those that do, are the ones who deserve to make it. Live Theatre is entertainment. You are providing a service (like any other job). You are giving audiences a chance to leave the real world, to think in a different way, to realize something they might be neglecting about themselves, and so much more. When I first fell in love with theatre it was because all I wanted to do was put a smile on someone's face. I started juggling and I was able to do that more. I started dancing and singing and juggling at the dance time. Having the ability to make people happy, to make people feel something new or something they forgot, is AMAZING. I hope you all can experience it.

I'm a Junior in College with parents who don't want me to pursue any kind of career in theatre, but they know how much I love it and they know somehow I'm going to get there. So have the drive and passion. You'll get there.

~~~~~~

I hope you liked it!

~Me

2 posts in one day! WOW!

OK I just had to post this cause it happened to me.

You know those little tiny boxes that appear after you try to sign up for something online. The verify by typing these letters and numbers in the box below. Some of them are very sensitive with the capital letters and some just don't care. But they always try to trick you.

I can't help but feel like I'm at an eye exam when I see them. I have to squint to see if it's a t or an f. They have all these little dots and white lines and stuff to trick you into putting a wrong letter or number.

BUT WHY? Aren't you varifying your information? Shouldn't this be easy?

Well the answer is no. Nothing is ever easy. Someone, somewhere always has to complicate things.
Thank you person who creates these little verify boxes for making signing up for something that much more difficult.

Ok I just had to let ya'all know my problem with those... Off to buy tools for my theatre class. YAY!

It was Spring Break...thats my excuse

OK so I know you all hate me cause it's been over a week since my last post. Seriously though...no one ever comments so I don't even know if you read this.

Anyways I had a great break. Besides the disappointing Legally Blonde trip...I actually went to see a night show of it on wednesday with the best cousin in the world. We Stage Doored Twice. Oh yeah! And I met and got a pic with Laura Bell Bundy. She's super sweet!

We had my 21st birthday celebration at the bars on thursday and well lets just say Friday was a rough day....

I have been working on a comic book for fan mail for a certain Christian Borle. Well I finally finished it last night. I just need to touch it up at some point today or tonight and it will be perfect. I want to send it out tomorrow.

I have to go buy tools for my set design class...I'm kind pissed at this cause like I spend so much money on classes and then they ask us to buy like 15$ hammers and shit. I'm like ugh I'M POOR YOU ARE TAKING ALL OF MY MONEY!!!!

I have finally figured out that yes I want to work in NYC but I don't want to move away from my family...so I need to like find a way to get there without it costing so much money is gas or travel expenses. Of course I will move away from my family eventually but like NYC is kinda far (almost 2 hrs) and I really love them. I want to be sure I can get back if they need me. Look at me talking though, I go to school 3 hrs away and its so hard to get home...but still.

That's my updates. I'll write more as more comes. WE have our first Jekyll and Hyde Stizprobe tonight...FUN!

Until then,
~Me

Omigod you guys...

So I went for my V.I.P experience yesterday to Legally Blonde The Musical....it wasn't what I expected.
I was super excited because I thought that this was going to be a great day and we would get to meet some of the cast and talk with them and go backstage and all this stuff.
Well we had decent seats for the show, some of the cast came out and talked to us after the show including Laura Belle Bundy, who played Elle, but I didn't get to go backstage and they didn't do pictures or sign autographs (like some of the other groups did)....I payed $179.00 for what?
Sure we went to Spotlight Live afterwards and had some food but seriously? I could have gotten tickets to the show in the orch for $64.00 and talked with and actually physically met the cast by stage dooring, which I've started to do a lot lately. It was a little frustrating.

Of course I loved being able to hear from the cast about their memories and how they came to be stars and all that fun stuff. I live for that kind of stuff. I didn't ask any questions, but its ok. Laura Belle Bundy has some funny stories. BUt ya know.

The was crazy....I thought we were going for my birthday present but we spent 2.5 hrs at Canal St. I HATE THAT PLACE. My mom and my sister wanted to go and it was pooring and there are crazy people there....and I just was sick of it. No one listened to me when I was screaming how much I wanted to leave. When we finally it the heart of the city, we barely had time to eat lunch before we had to be at the show and then we went to the show and after we hit up spotlight live we went to jekyll and hyde club for dinner and then left the city. It was pointless. I was pissed. I thought it was my birthday gift.

I'm going back on Wednesday. I can't wait. I might only see one show as opposed to two. I'd much rather shop and stuff. I don't have money to shop but window shopping is fun!

Anyways that was my day yesterday. I really expected more but I guess you can't always get what you want.

Until more interesting days
~Me~

Wrap Your Arms Around Me

Lately things in my life have been in the air....
there's a lot that a lot of people don't know.

My dad's sickness last year that he is still recovering from and the cancer they found, that by some miracle they were able to get before it spread.

My cancer scare that is still a possibility.

My lowering of standards because I just want someone to hold me.

and My Grandfather.

My Grandfather is one of my heroes. He's amazing. He's worked so hard all his life and I love him for everything he does for me. He's been sick a lot but not enough to keep him down. He's always full of energy. A few years ago, while I was a freshman in college, he was diagnosed with colon cancer. They found it, stopped it and he did his chemo and was off it for a few years. It looked well and seemed to be fine. Usual energy and everything.
Tonight I found out they found cancer in his liver. It's small and he needs surgery. He's getting it done in a few weeks. That is, if he stops smoking.

I have complete faith that God will do what He wants with this situation. I just don't want to lose my Grandfather. I really really want him to be at my wedding, and I don't even have a boyfriend yet. I've always wanted him to be at my wedding. He's such an important person in my life and I don't want to lose him. I wasn't around last summer, which might have been my last summer with him. I have plans that take me out of state next semester and I won't be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don't want these to be the last holidays I spend with him because I won't be there. I love him so much and just thinking about losing him hurts.

I know I probably sound selfish. Tons of people have lost loved ones and I have too. I dunno. It's just hard on me right now.

I entitled this Wrap Your Arms Around Me because I have really good friends. However, I don't think any of them would be able to see through the facade I put up about this. Not too many of them will care about it either.

It's times like these that I wish I had a loving, caring, supportive, boyfriend. Someone who sees through all of my faces to my heart. Someone who will just wrap his arms around me and tell me its ok even when it's not. Someone who just cares enough about me to see when I'm hurting and to wipe away my tears. I'm in my early twenties and I know I have years ahead of me, but this whole being single thing, just isn't working with so many things happening in my life. THere are no prospects....at least not any more.

The Bridge Band has this song and it goes like this:

Father hold me in your infinite embrace
Can you see me now?
I'm falling on my face
(even now)
Father hold me in your infinite embrace
All I have is You
All I have is You
All I have is You
All I have is You

I just picture THese huge arms being wrapped around a small child comforting, protecting. I know that the Lord provides these things for us. We need to take comfort in Him, but there is a certain security in human arms. I want that. I want to feel that.

So my guy, whoever you are, wherever you are.... please, wrap your arms around me

until sunny days
~me~

Spring Plays Tricks On Us

So the weather has been undecidable lately. It snows really heavy on saturday and monday its almost 60. TOday its back down to snowy weather. Oh this place...I'm tellin ya!

Nothing too important is happening in my life. I'm trying this new thing out called forgetting people. Jess brought it to my attention. People that hurt us, make us upset, are just not worth having in our lives. So I'm trying to back away and forget the bad things that happened between me and certain people and if they come up again I will be able to work them out calmly. Fun right? I thought so. It's hard around this one person, a guy persay, but I'm going to do it! Besides, he's going on tour over break and i'm just going to NYC. Who needs him anyway.

I want to be happier. I know how to do it, I just don't because I keep myself in these ruts where I just pity myself. So I'm changing that too.

I miss Vail. I Miss the people and the mountains and the village of Vail.I hope I can get back to visit there sometime soon!

I filled out my application for DCP.....Disney hopefully here i come!!! I can't wait I'm so excited!

THat's it. I'll write more about New York after I get there, I'm sure I'll have a lot to say! haha

Until New York!
~me~

Why My College Upsets Me

Today is State Patty's Day.

I know what you're thinking. St. Patrick's Day isn't for another few weeks. My University and all of the brilliant people that go here got this crazy idea. Let's look back at History....

One year ago Tomorrow: A group of students, upset that St. Patrick's Day fell over spring Break, convince bar owners to open up for STATE Patty's day festivities. Basically, St. Patrick's Day festivities a few weeks early so students could celebrate. What I couldn't understand is why couldn't they just celebrate on St. Patrick's Day out of town? Why did we have to go and create a holiday.

Now This year: St. Patrick's Day falls the day we get from Spring Break. PLenty of time to celebrate...yet people feel the NEED to have STATE Patty's day again.

STATE Patty's day, bringing a lot of money to the bars and liquor stores in the area, is a poor excuse for students to dress in green and drink all day long. It just baffles me. Don't people have better things to do with their lives?

So this is why I am ashamed of my school...along with disrespecting fans of other football teams and all the other stuff that goes on here.

In Ireland they don't drink as much as people around here think they do. Infact, St. Patrick's Day is a religious holiday there. They go to church and maybe they have a few beers. However, it is nothing like the United States portrays it and I am a little ticked. BUt what can you do? People will be people and say, "hey I created a holiday!"

People are just Stupid.

On a lighter note:
It snowed last night about 4 inches. I was driving today and I looked out my passenger side window and there is a 7ft snow man. These two college guys, not celebrating State patty's day, are on chairs putting the head on this thing. It was definitely a smile bringer. I wish i could have taken a picture.

Until Warm days~

46hrs and $6.6 Million FOR THE KIDS!!!

YAY!!!!!
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I have been catching up on sleep and working on my first short story entitled Comic Book Secrets. Fun!

So last weekend was THON!!!!! It was amazing as per usual!!! I don't know how I made it through, let alone the dancers! My dancer was golden, but my orgs dancers were in need of some help! So I hung out with them a lot whenever I was on the floor.

Some Highlights of my weekend:
Pre-THON ~ Another Amazing show!

Spending time with my Thespians and the Singing Lions

Spending time with my Morale Team

Seeing my family! (missed ya dad!)

Helping not only my dancer, but a lot of random dancers get through the weekend!

Giving foot messages!

Baby Powder!

THON KIDS!!! They are AMAZING!!!! They are really fun to play with and they all LOVE water guns!!!! haha

Spending Family Hour on the floor with our dancers

Hearing the stories at Family hour

In Memory of Those who didn't beat the cancer....they are the reason we dance

Spending the last hour with my org in the stands.

Seeing the Total go up $6.6 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
The 10 seconds of shock that followed before all the cheering!

Angels Among Us, Your Love is My Love, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Getting a THON shout out at LoveBscott.com

THE ENTIRE WEEKEND!!!!!

I loved it!! TO learn more or hear more check out THON.org

This is what I live for here at PSU. I LOVE IT!!! THis weekend was amazing! The kids were amazing! We dance for the Cure! It WILL come because HOPE FINDS A WAY!!!!!

$6.6 Reasons to HOPE!

~Me~

Tomorrow... we dance

I'm going to preface this by saying that the Lunar Eclipse tonight was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. The sky was perfectly clear for it too!

Tomorrow we dance for a cure.
We dance for Hope
For Love
For Life.

THON is a big thing here. Actually it is the THING here. It's the largest student run philantropy in the world.

I am Proud to be a part of it.

Tonight after we learned the line dance and had our final morale meeting before THON, I realized something.
Grades..don't matter
GPA....doesn't matter
Where I go when I'm out of school...Doesn't matter
NONE of it matters.

THON is the most important thing I will ever do here at Penn State.

I can work on shows until the cows come home. Spend days and nights in the basement of a creepy auditorium building sets and props..It won't make a difference.

THON makes a difference. The hours I spend shopping for a dancer, making kids mail, going to meetings and events. Those countless days in the Cold holding cans on the side of the road, in front of stores, asking people for money. That is what matters.
Making a DIFFERENCE in the LIFE of a CHILD....matters.

Last year I stood for 46 hrs. No sleeping or sitting. I did it For The Kids. For The Families. For The Four Diamonds. I did it because for 46 hrs I could absorb the pain of a child going through chemo. I could dance with that Child, hold that child, smile and laugh with that child and their fears...for however long they were at THON were gone.

This year I am not only doing THON FOR THE KIDS, but I am doing THON FOR THE DANCERS. I am not complaining that my feet hurt or that I am tired. I get to sit, sleep, shower. I am pepping. Smiling. Dancing. Being Crazy. TO help someone else feel what I felt when the total was raised last year and 5.2 Million dollars was raised FOR THE KIDS.


"This is what it means when we say WE ARE PENN STATE." Joe Paterno.

THON, is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing I will ever do....in college.

www.THON.org


See what I love.

So we dance!

Until post THON.
ME

Why I Go To The Theatre

There are many reasons why people go to the Theatre... entertainment, a nice evening, something different, inspiration, love of art, and the list goes on. HEre's why I go.

I love it. Something about a play or a musical that takes you out of your own world and places you in the world of someone else. Anyone else on stage. You can be placed in the main character's world or the world of a person who only walks out on the stage once. There's something magical about the theatre....something hypnotizing.

Ken Davenport in his blog The Producer's Prospective (see my faves) mentions the LFF. LFF is the Lean Forward Factor. Some shows you go to you just sit there...but other's cause you to lean forward. The first time I went to see a broadway show, I saw Aida. I leaned forward. I thought it was so inappropriate. I couldn't help it! Something was drawing me into the world of the play, the characters, the scene, the meaning behind it all.

It's how I feel about Jekyll and Hyde. When I read it, I lean Forward. I'm drawn into the deeper meaning. I feel for each character. I can relate, I can believe, I can think about what each character must be going through.

Tonight I saw PUSH written for and preformed by our SOT Grad Students. They did an amazing job...however, it was really long. But here's the thing. I leaned forward. I was drawn into everything that was going on. All of these different plots revolving around one character's misfortune. Courage. Confusion. Life. Love. Everything was appealing. The actors were so convincing. So real. I know a few of them from acting class or just being around school of theatre. It was as if I could go up and touch them... and they would be that character who they were. They would be different from the people I knew...someone else.

So it was good. Props to the actors, crew, director and playwright.

I am now in the cast of Jekyll and Hyde. A few girls dropped out and they need to fill the chorus roles. I start tomorrow. I'm really reluctant. Wish Me Luck.

Until another thought~!
Me

Reflections of a 21 year old

So yesterday was my birthday.... when I tell you that it was done in style...I literally mean that I go 4 hrs of sleep the whole day.

Of course we went to the bar at midnight. It was good...but I drank way too much. Well ok here's the thing. It wasn't that I drank way too much...I just mixed way too much. For example...all I wanted was a guinness...so I got it. Then I had a red headed slut, an irish car bomb, a tequila shot, a sweedish fish, and I think one more but can't remember. Mixing =Bad. I mean I was golden and totally cool. J drove so that was cool. But then it hit me all at once and that wasn't cool. I was afraid to get off my little computer rolie chair. But it was good.

So then i stayed up talking to some ppl. And then around 3 I went to my friend's apt. I feel like I have talked about this friend before. We are more like FWB...very good benefits though he really frustrates me sometimes because he worries a lot about if he is hurting my feelings when he says no and stuff. whatever. I had already been hurt by him and I'm kinda over it. Apparently we drew yet another line the night of my birthday. I dunno I wish he would just man up cause I like him. He's sweet, kind, gentle, amazing at like everything he does, and hes a cutie with an amazing smile. But like I said...he worries a lot and I think he's just afraid. But anyway so i went over and enjoyed some benefits for my bday. He was cute about it...mainly because i was sobering up so we sat and talked for a while and laughed and had a good time.

Then I slept for 4 hrs. I got up showered...missed my first class cause i didnt get up on time... went to the office to get some things done and went to my theatre class. Try sewing after a night of drinking...I don't get hangovers...just have urges to shop and a major stomach ache. So I was like ugh my stomach hurts i can't concentrate of this stuff. But I got through the class. Then I had to run and drop off equipment and such. That was fun. After that I had to get my hw done...cause I neglected it.
Then my little's for thespians took me out to the Olive Garden and made me get some wine...so I did. It was good. We had a great dinner (thanks guys!!) and a nice evening. Then I had arts and crafts week which is crazy. Also, I went to the gym after that. Then I stayed up until midnight to finish off the day.

It was fun. But long and I was tired...infact I am still tired.

My roommates exboyfriend is here again. I feel like they gave him a key. That really really really bothers me. I hate it. He sleeps here, eats here, sits on my couch all day, and in general is really annoying. If he is going to be here all the time he should pitch in for rent and shit. Especially if he showers in my bathroom and sleeps on the couch. Seriously. Ughhhh its so annoying!

so besides that life is good. It doesn't feel any different being 21 though it is interesting to get carded. And so many people did not believe it was my birthday even tho it is written on my valid drivers license. Seriously ppl get with it!

Until less snowy days that i have to drive to class....
~Me~

A Review of Yumminess

So today was a wonderful day. Simply because I was able to forget everything that has happened to me wed-friday.

MY MOM VISITED ME!!!! Love it!!!!
She showed up at my door with this HUGE Winnie the Pooh balloon and 3 smaller ones, a cake, a bagged gift, and a box of Parrot Bay by Captain Morgan. The Winnie the Pooh Balloon make noise and sings happy birthday!!!


Oh maybe I should explain....

Monday is that big birthday. You know the 21st. So since my mom is a teacher and can't take the day off (we are going to atlantis in may for their anniversary!) she can't be here. She visited me today and we went to lunch and dinner and did a TON of shopping. My mom is so great that for my birthday she got me tickets to see Legally Blonde on Broadway VIP style and meet the cast!!! WOOT! backstage tour too! She also bought my THON dancer gifts for me...isn't she great! I love her so so so much!!!

So we went to Baby's which is timeless and I love it! Then we travelled around for a few hours. THEN we went to KELLY'S!!
OMIGOD!!! SO GREAT!!! Yummy yummy yummy. Right portions and everything! It's classy...but they have a bar so its ok. I did not get to drink with my mom...she was upset. She's very upset that I am having my first beer without her....yes that beautiful Guinness. I can't wait!! I'm thinkin I'll call her. She'll be funny with that lol. Anyways It was sooo good.

So in short. My mom surprised me! cause it did snow like 4 inches here and the weather this morning was ugly. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom so much. I love my dad too...but he didnt surprise me today lol.

Until the 21st reflection....
~Me