I am not a hero, I am not angel, I am just a man

A man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In her eyes I am....

I cannot wait until my future husband can sing that song....and if it just so happens to be Josh Groban then that's even better! haha. No but I want to see that in my future husband. I know I will see him as a hero, an angel, and overall a man who is just trying to love me for all that I am in God's eyes as well as what he will see in me.

Today I just about died. But I also had the time of my life. We did a triathalon thingy. I didn't swim so I did 2 events. Well is was like 4. But still. I biked up this huge mountain and along the road forever. I almost didn't make it past the first biking event. However I had a great team and an awesome encourager who said, "I will make you finish! You know I'm not going to leave you until you do and even if I get annoying you will just have to deal with it." It was great. After that we hiked this mountain with loose rock and dirt, then we came to a waterfall and the ground was slippery. I just about died during that part but it was amazing. Waterfalls rock! Then we biked more and then we hiked Vail mountain which was hard and I didn't make it to the top of that mountain ( I was 30 min from it) and my group came down. It was ok thought I got so close. I had two encouragers that time and we had a lot of fun just talking and walking. I was able to finish the race with my team together and it was amazing. My hands are sunburned though haha.

Some things that God has taught me today through this: He will never leave me. He taught me to Trust people again especially guys. That prayer works ( I always knew that). THat He has all the strength I need. And so much more. I was very happy with my group and their support.

Dad Update: I talked to him today!! YAY!!! I miss him so much! He's doing well! THey had a docs appt. Yesterday in MD and everything they took out was the right stuff. Also, He doesn't have to go on Chemo because the part of cancer they found in the part they took out had not spred. He wil however, be getting check ups just incase. How faithful God is to our prayers! I am very excited to see my dad when I get home. He is not well enough to travel out here so the family will not be visiting. How sad :( I miss them all very much! I think the little bro is avoiding me cause he doesn't return my phone calls. But all is good....he'll have to call me after he gets his awesome Vail polo! Its gonna look so good on him!

I think that is all for today. Oh and I didn't get to hike that wonderful Moutain of Holy Cross....yet. CIAO!

Until hurtfree days

I've never been more homesick than now

For real guys....
Don't get me wrong cause I love it here and its beauitful and breathtaking
However I would love to see my family and to see my cherished friends.
I would love to touch the ocean and surf a few choice waves.....you know the ones that you sit out for hours waiting for. THe perfect ones that aren't really perfect.
I would love to hit an amusement park just to ride rollecoasters and see shows.
I'd like to help on the farm, play with my puppy, hang out with the DK crew, and just chill.

I know God has great plans for me here in Colorado. However, I still miss home more than I will ever be able to express in any form of words or picture or art form. There's just too much to love there.

Freedom in Forgivness

Mt. Holy Cross

So my week of fasting is over!!

Not having a computer for a whole week was challenging but really good for me. It showed me that I spend way too much time online and so I am cutting back. I am very greatful for that lesson.

Dad Update: He's good. What they took out was the right thing and its going to be a long healing process. That is ok. We are going to get through this with God's love and grace.

Vail Update: Things here are awesome. Right now I'm not feeling too hot but I had a great weekend! It was women's/men's weekend and we did different things. The boys climbed mountains or something. Us girls camped out with a bear! We ate Hobos and had smores and all that good stuff. Worshiped and such. THen we went for a hike which was soooo much fun and very beautiful. After that We ame back, showered and went out to dinner in groups with different girls. We had questions to ask and we talked alot. My group was cool and awesome! Then we came back and Beth talked and then we had girls and did girl things. THen today we went to church and then had a girls brunch at which Liz talked and every girl got a flower! It was cool.

Anyways Jo asked me to go to walmart so I'll finish later.

Things are awesome and getting better everyday!!! It's awesome. I really miss home and all but Things here aren't bad. I think we are going to Hike Holy Cross soon. I really would like to see it! It's pretty much amazing. Other than that, its horseback riding, work, and hanging with the gang.
Staff leaves in 10 days and that's sad...

Until early nights

Who Do You Think You Are Leaving Me Alone with my Guitar

Yay for listening to RENT!!! Love it!

This weekend has been fun so far. We got kicked out for 25 hours and we had to find a place to stay and stuff. I CAMPED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!! It was so much fun! We made a Fire and Everythign!!! Horrary for Godly Men to build wonderful campfires. WE even roasted Mallows. In the morning the guys made us a FIRE!!!! Cause it was pretty cold. They are so sweet we didn't even ask them lol which means they prob did it for themselves. Then we went out until we could come back at 7pm. We were trying to ask people to come to church with us or just start conversations. It was cool. WE had a few conversations and got to see some cool hang outs.

Tomorrow is church and then just chill. THe guys start Fasting tomorrow and tomorrow the girls start fasting but they don't have to do food. Most of them are but I'm not sure I will. I think I will not go online and fast from junk food. That will kill me I'm sure.

Anyways My dad is doing good. Thank you for those prayers. Please pray for the project fasting this week and for mens and women's weekend next weekend. Thanks! Feel free to leave prayer requests.

I miss home and everything but its all good. God is doing amazing things out here.

Until I get less sunburn!

Take these chains away

I'm having one of those days where things just go wrong and you want to look on the good side but you can't.
H
I really wanted to do Emcee for weekly meetings here but one of my suite mates got it instead and I'm super happy for her, but I really wanted to try it out because I might do it in the spring and school. Instead I was asked to do powerpoints, which is cool and all cause I said I would...but I dunno. Much rather emcee.

There's this kid here who reminds me of someone I put in my past. Its scary and I don't like it. However, its true. I have to work with him on the powerpoints cause hes worship band leader. Its hard.

I want to be home with my family.

I want to be home with my friends.

I want Starbucks to be open later than 8pm.

I hate work. It stinks. I wake up at 4 50 to leave at 5 30 to get to work and set up and wait until 7 in which time we open the doors and I stay there until 3. I am so tired that I don't even want to do anything later.

Listen to me. Me, me , me. it's all about me. I need to change. Today is a hard day and I really want it to just be over. As strong as I know my faith is, it's just not strong enough. It needs to be stronger. Please pray for me. I could really use the prayers. I am weak and the Lord is my strength. I just need to give my burdens to him. Unfortunetly they are burdens I don't want to let go. I need to change. I want to change. I will change.

Please Pray.
In Christ.~Me~

I lift my eyes into the hills where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Hey guys!
VAIL UDATE!!!

Thank you for prayers and support. WE love them and need them. A few of the guys got hurt on project and we would love to see them heal in a few weeks so that they can join us on hikes and such.

Tonight I made Baked Ziti and everyone raved about it. So def a good dish to make for a pot luck dinner.

Sunday we went to church and then I took a two hour nap. I was so worn out from our Saturday fun!! Around 2pm my CG girls group met and went HIKING!!! I LOVE HIKING!! It was so much fun and I love those girls so much! We went hiking up the North Trail and man it was hard and though we didn't get to the top I was a trooper...Asthma and thin air don't mix well. I wanted to go to the top but the others were getting hungry and tired and such. I got to lead the way down though! After that we all just chilled. I like chillin too.

Tonight we met with our CGs had a potluck and did our first study. It was really good. Afterwards we played MAFIA!!!! Great game. Then some ppl left to play ultimate and a few of us stayed. We played Celebrity which is an awesome game so learn how to play!!!

Im gettin ready for bed. Work this week is going to be crazy. Hopefully I'll make some money to get me through to my first pay check!!! Living on a budget is hard...oh yeah and I have to send my Rent in soon for August.

Until Warmer weather!!!

Strength is found within

YAY from VAIL!!!

Dad Update: He's HOME!!!! This is very exciting. Things are looking good and we are just waiting for test results and full healing. Please continue to pray for my family and my dad. You can especially pray for healing and that his blood sugars don't go back up. THANKS FOR THE LOVE AND THE PRAYERS!!!

Vail Update: Things here are going great. As you can tell it has been snowing a bit. Just the mountain tops have been getting the bluk of it...we get like a dusting. It should be warming up shortly I hope. Actually today was a really nice day. Work is going good but it is very tiring. Friday we celebrated some of the boys' birthdays which were this weekend. THen we hung out in our room and played some games. Today we got up early. Half of us went to our Life Skills event and half went to help with the Family Fun Fair and to help one of the pastors move. It was a lot of fun. I was in the second half of the day for Life Skills. It was a blast! We did this scavenger hunt type thing in the mountains. When we started we got "sins" 2 ppl were mute, 2 ppl were taped together at the legs (one of which was me), two ppl had to carry a tree type thing (one had one hand duct taped to it), and one carried this huge thing of water. It was tough. We had to find clues which were scripture verses that lead us to the Word Of God which was a top a mountain! Then we looked across and found the clue for The Holy Spirit. It was amazing. THen we had to share with some "lost people" which were staff memebers. It was an awesome time! I am so worn out right now!

Tomorrow is church and then I meet with a few ppl to talk about stuff. Dunno what yet. Should be fun!
Things to pray for: That everyone in our project is heathy and strong. We have had a few accidents so pray for their health
THat we may touch the Vail Valley and spread God's Love
For our leaders, the students, and the Valley in general.

Thanks so much for the support kids!
If you have any prayer requests, send them my way!!

Until Warmer weather!
~Me~

Ive been up to my next working 5 days a week wearin holes in the soles of the shoes on my feet

Yeah....that sums up my week.
Lots of work...but I'm in VAIL!!!! It's great so far.

this is a quick update bc I have been up since 4 50 this morning.

Dad: Is doing really really well!! He will more than likely be going home this weekend. Please keep praying for him and my family. I know we are going to get through this just like we have gotten through everything else. They won't find out if the surgery worked until next week. So pray for that as well.

Me: VAIL IS GREAT! the people are awesome, I have a great job, and its beautiful. God is going to do amazing things! PLease pray for me and m friend steph. We work 8.5 hr days 5 days a week. We get up at 5 ish are at work by 6 30 and dont get out til 3. We usually dont even get back here until 4. It's crazy. I am usually very very worn out by that time. Please pray for us.

Im going to head to bed but I promise there to be more later!

Until Sunny Days!

With a little bit of Faith and Trust and maybe even Pixie Dust

UPDATE:

My dad's surgery went quite well. He is in ICU right now and is talking. That's a very good. My mom is spending a lot of time with him at the hospital. She is so great. She has so much love for my dad. I love them very much. I'll give more updates as I get them but that's really honestly all I know right now.

My first day at work went really well. It was really slow but since its a lodge in a very classy area people tip well and the pay is great. Not to mention the food! OMGOSH! The food is AMAZING! If you are ever in Vail Valley talk to me and I'll let you know where it is. I got to walk to Vail Village today and it was fun! I got to Starbucks just in time before it closed. I felt bad and of course gave them a tip. Then we all hung out and walked back. It helped get my mind of things and just relax. I'm really enjoying my time here. I love everyone who I have met and everyone is so loving here. It's awesome.

I hope all is well. Thanks for the prayers and keep praying!!! If you guys have any prayer requests please let me know!!!

Until Confused Vail Weather....

Did you Feel the mountains tremble?

HELLO FROM VAIL!!!!
I am super excited to get to report from summer project!!! Flying and arriving into Vail Valley was amazing!! The mountains are amazing and they were even Snow Covered!!! Meeting everyone was also exciting! This summer is going to be beyond belief. God is going to do amazing things this summer through us! I am so pumped!

My roommates are great! The girls in my bible study are great!! My community group is great and the whole gang is awesome!!! I love them all and its only the third day!!!

I went for my job today. I will be hostessing and making a nice sum of money to get me by this summer. I get discounts at all stuff in the Beaver Creek Village thingy so I am going to go horseback riding on a mountain trail and rock climb. I am very excited. The peolpe we are working with are nice as well!

We did a lot of interesting things the past few days. Just getting to know the Valley and the people around here. We also visited the Teva Games to share with people a bit. It was a very fun and interesting day. It was also nice to see so many people in the valley.

Also, Vail churchis great! The people there are so nice. I am very excited to work with them this summer.

I am all over the place and very excited to see what God has to do in my life and the life of those around me this summer. If you guys could pray for family and my dad, he gets surgery tomorow, and just keep all of us out here in your prayers that would be awesome!!!

I promise to write more fully and thoughtfully later when I am not so jumpy and excited!

much love,
Me.

Being Happy in today's world counts for nothing

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
he's the reason for the tear drops on my guitar

"I haven't been thinking about us. I needed not to give it not or else I would have given it too much thought."~Lorelai Gilmore

Today I had a fun day at the beach with my parents,aunt, unc, and cousin. It was nice to go and relax for the day especially with everything that is going on in our lives right now. However, what I got was a little more than I needed. The shore house is full of memories from a pretty amazing time i had last summer. And even though I have every reason to hate those memories because they were all pretty much fake, as much as i have the right to hate the person they were with, and I should just forget everything. But how can I forget a time when I was so happy? When waking up wasn't so hard because aside from God, I knew or thought I knew that I meant something to someone. Well down the beach I was happy as happy can be and we had a wonderful time! Star gazing, midnight walking on the beach, the game of Life, watchin the morning appear on the deck with some tea, and just hanging out. I'll admit it, I cried and almost threw up on the way home today. I mean Im not hungry or anything right now. I feel like I felt when I broke up with the kid. And maybe if I didn't break up with him we would still be together and growing in our faith and just being amazing. But then again maybe we would be miserable. I don't know why things happen, but God plans it that way. And the kid doesn't care about me any more so it doesn't really matter what I think about that (he said so himself to me). It just sucks with everything that is goin on.

My dad is sick, he gets operated on when im in vail and who knows the toll its going to take on my family. I won't be here so it will be hard on me.
Me going to Vail is hard in itself. Im going way out of my comfort zone but this is all Gods master plan for me. I'm just following the leader so to speak.

Things will get better, butfor now....my heart goes out to this kid who is super lost and even though he always said he didn't want to grow up like his dad, I see similarities between him and the things he told me about his dad. Like father, like son I guess.

until Vail!

Starry Starry Night

Paint your colors blue and grey

So being at home has been awesome. I made my first months rent on the apt at school in less than 5 days at work. I did work 5 straight days and it is tiring but its ok. I got to see a lot of great people and make some extra cash for the summer and all.

I havent really done too much besides work and yoga. It really takes a lot out of me and I have been tired. However ive pretty much done all my shopping for CO.

Im excited because this is a week where I get to see a whole bunch of my friends.

I promise to write more when I am inspired.... It will be longer... so until then...

Would I be Out of Line

If I said, I miss You?

So today I drove home from college to end my soph school year. It was quite the journey. I cried a bit. I am happy to be home, but I am so sad to leave. Because I am going across the country I will not be able to spend time with people I have grown close to over this past school year.

Yesterday was perhaps the hardest day of my life. I had to say a final goodbye to my big and the first person I ever met in Thespians. It was really upsetting. I also had to say goodbye to everyone for the summer knowing that they all still had a week with each other. I wish I could be with them right now but with my dad being sick and everything its just nice to be back home, even if I do have to sleep on the couch. I love being home and its good for me. I do miss everyone, but its good to be home.

Ohana means family. No body left behind or forgotten. I now know what that means. My thespian family is amazing. I could not ask for a better group of people to spend my college days with. Not just my thespian family, but the thespians in general make an amazing family. I know I would not be in school if it wasn't for them. We have our hard times but for the most part they are great. I just want the world to know that.

I must get back to my paper now....oh life.

Later Dayz.

These will be the times we miss

Johnny says: Why can't it stay like this?

And I sure do love these crazy summer nights. When we all get together. Days that I'll remember all my life. Yeah they seem to last forever.

Wow. I can't believe I have 2 days of classes left as a sophomore. It's real scary. I am writing this entry to procrastinate my 5 page paper thats due next tuesday. I will get it done. It's just a matter of sitting and typing it all out. I have compiled most of the information I need. However, I need a good grade on it so I'll probably be freaking out like tomorrow or something.

This week has been great! I've had very little work to do so my nights have been amazing. Monday we played all afternoon in the sunshine!!!! Ultimate Frisbee and twister with Thespians is awesome. I really do love those kids so much, they might not know it, but they mean the world to me. I have battle scars from the Ultimate game but it's ok. I went out to the look Out with some amazing kids sunday night after inductions. Good times! We are trying to get a group to go tonight or tomorrow I'm hoping tonight because it will be amazing if the clouds go away but I might just push it back to tomorrow.

The weather has been great here. Hot sunny days. Yesterday it was a hot thunderstorm. It felt so great! Not to mention that it was Amazingly Beautiful. I hope there are some in Vail that we will get to see.

Which reminds me, I have to look for a job in Vail. The ranch hasn't gotten back to me yet so I guess I'll try to work at like Home Depot or something of the sort. Oh and be sure to look out for Vail Updates because I will be doing it as often as I can.

Until Summer!

Hold that Focus Steady!

2 weeks and counting!!!
I can not wait for school to be over. I'm tired of the drama and the school work and everything.

I can't wait for Vail!!!! It's really starting to get exciting. I am seriously going to be out of my element down there.

THis weekend was a ton of fun. Blue and White weekend. I got to see people I haven't seen in a while like Dup and KQ!!!!!!!and T Dogg.

Well this a little short but I have some work I need to get done.

Until Cooler days

Kiss Today Goodbye

Point me toward tomorrow.

So a lot has happened since I last wrote. I went home for Easter and had the time of my life. Whenever I go home and have to go back to school as soon as I pull out of my driveway, I get all teary eyed and sad. I love home so much. I got to see my best friend, my cousin, KJ, and my whole entire family (extended too). It was great~! It made it so hard to leave. My brother decided on a college and it's not where I am. That makes it hard too. Everyone is growing up.

This past Wednesday I went to see Adam Pascal preform and he was amazing! Afterwards I had the chance to meet him and take a picture with him. Totally did that. I LOVED IT!!! He also autographed my ticket. AHHHHH. He's great! His music is great! Love hiM!

Tonight I am going to PBR. For those of you who don't know what that means it is Professional Bull Riding. So I'm going to watch Cowboys get knocked off or see the win. Usually they come out and autograph afterwards. No Idea if that will happen this time, but hey it's worth a shot! I'm really excited cause the Rodeo is a lot of fun. I have been there once before. So I am going to that with a bunch of my friends.

THis weekend is really chill. I have nothing tomorrow so I think i might go see the opera. Sunday I am crewing MasquerAIDS to benefit that AIDS project here.It's going to be great! and Next weekend is Blue and White weekend!!! CANT WAIT!

So I was thinking today, and this is my final thought for the entry, I was thinking how when something bad happens to someone, how everyone starts to pray for them. By everyone I mean everyone and anyone, not just Christians. I was thinking how that's great and all because the power of prayer is amazing, but how many people actually believe in who they are praying to or what they are praying about? How many people only pray in times of need or want? How awesome would it be if those people who only prayed in times of need or want decided to pray everyday for one person in their lives? It's kinda crazy when you think about it.

Anyways, I love you all.
Until Spring Days...

It's a brother and a sister kinda thing

So this weekend was AMAZING! To the cast and crew of Crazy For You...CONGRATS on a SPECTACULAR show!!!! Being backstage was hard for me but a lot of fun. I mean come on I can't argue...I did have a pretty sweet job ;)

I heard only wonderful things.

I spent time with amazing people and met even more amazing people!

Sometimes life is just good like that. Now that things have semi calmed down, I just want to breathe and relax. The weather has been nice but its supposed to snow again this week. That makes me upset. I mean come on people....i want nice weather all the time.

I'm really excited about Co and my possible job ops there. I'm excited that KD is comin with me, but im upset that I won't get to work on SummerStage or be at ArtsFest. However thats life.

Well time to go work on group project stuff.

Until percious moments!

The way your smile just beams...

I am amazed! However it is not the first time.
The show was amazing, cast, crew, music, all!

I have a pretty sweet job too... I get to dress a very nice guy. He says Thank You after everything. Infact this is the first cast that I have worked with that is very undiva and I hope it stays that way. Everything is very appreciative of the work we've done for them, at least thats what it seems. It really is a great thing when people recognize the work you do for them. Espcially if all you want to do is be on stage with them, but you can't.

Show biz is weird like that. If you aren't pretty you usually don't get cast. It really doesn't matter if you can sing or dance. It really doesn't matter if theater is your life, even if you don't major in it. Like me. But at least im a part of it. That's nice too.

To the lovely cast and crew of Crazy For You,
You guys are amazing! I'm really happy I got to work with all of you!!! Much Love for your backstage costumer!

well i Need to apply to the ranch and that summer camp. I might get to teach kids some theater over the summer. IN Vail, CO.

I found out that my computer is going to cost $774.95 plus tax. I called my mom, she called apple, and the cut the price in half. I love that lady!!!!

well im off to bed before I pass out!!!

Until Starry Nights at the Look Out!!!!

Who Could Ask for Anything More?

AHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!!!!!

The show is going great!!! My worries are ok. Tonight all the costumes should be done and it is my first night backstage. It's going to be a lot of fun!!! Tomorrow night I get to sit out and watch the show. It was a request of mine because I have never seen the show in full, just bits and pieces and without costume at rehersal, and I wanted to see it at least once. Last night I was working on costumes in the audience while the show was rehersing cause the orchestra doesnt have enough lights yet so i could see what i was doing. The cast sounds AMAZING! The orchestra is getting there and will hopefully be ready by tonight. Everything else is wonderful!!!! The girls wore their follies costumes last night and I LOVE IT!!!!!

On a lighter note....I am without computer because mine is broken.... it kinda stinks but its all good because life is good and we have a show....it opens THURSDAY!!!!!!!!

well im off to take my 2 tests today

Until 3 story set peices.....

It's like the Hippos in Fantasia

That was how the set for Crazy For You was described by my good friend Fuz today who is playing Zangler.
It's HUGE!!!!!! But it moves gracefully across stage for a HUGE set.
I spent a long time in Schwab today helping build the set, make show girl outfits, and just goofin around. Then we got some good eats at Olive Garden. YUM!

Tomorrow is the day of trial....most of everything needs to be finished and some of the stuff is just not possible right now because we need members of the cast for fittings and such. Hopefully more cast members will show up tomorrow b4 call and if not we will have all cast members for call tomorrow night. I'm really excited for this show. The cast sounds AMAZING and the set looks Fab. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH all u ppl better come see it!!!!

Thats all for now...the show and 4 tests have taken over my life!

Until set pieces that don't fall over....